Spitball Reviews #7

          (Written by jom)

Greed vs. Takashi (SED 05/24/2009)

    So... what's SED? Well, SED (short for Safety Enjoy Delight, maybe the least intimidating combination of words in wrestling history) is an amateur promotion started in 2003 that has generally been pretty active for the last 20+ years. They've run over a hundred shows, almost all of which are available on YouTube. I really appreciate the effort put into not only preserving all of these shows, but also in making them available to the public. I know literally nothing about SED or anyone involved outside of that, and this is the first SED match I've ever seen in full. Honestly, after checking this out, I'm definitely interested in watching more SED going forward! This is by no means a perfect match, or even really a great match, but it has a lot of cool stuff going for it. Takashi is the world's 2nd most blatant Naomichi Marufuji idolizer (Seth Rollins will never lose his crown) and Greed, besides having an AWESOME name, has a really cool look as "Y2K Hoodlum #2." They work some damn good juniors sequences considering the lack of actual pro training, with Greed doing an especially quality job of blending quick moves and transitions with nice heel work. He's also got a good knack for making his stuff look as mean as possible, putting some real snap on his dropkicks and throwing quick low blows regularly. As this is 2009, both men are absolutely obsessed with combos, which, while cool to a certain extent, is more funny than anything. Singular moves in this match are rare, and I never really needed to see things like a three amigos into an impaler or a superkick into three neckbreakers, but I guess I do appreciate the creativity. There are also some genuinely awesome moments of creativity, like Greed's wristlock Air Raid Crash, or Takashi's step-up guillotine leg drop. It's all the type of work you can tell is being done by amateurs, but as someone that appreciates the wrestling spirit in many forms, I see an abundance in these two. Also, Greed punching and kicking Takashi in the face fucking rocked. Expect to see more of Greed on the blog at the bare minimum. 

Match Rating: B-

Okonomi Man & Tortuga vs. El Enigma & Super Cacao (CMLL Japan 11/23/1999)

    CMLL Japan always had a really cool assortment of Japanese indie guys to fill the undercard, and here's four staples of the tours getting to battle it out. Okonomi is the future Hayate, Super Cacao is Nosawa, Enigma is MAZADA, and Tortuga is... Tortuga! This is really four Japanese guys getting the chance to show they know lucha too, and by God, they really seem to know lucha. Cacao is especially in the zone here, working the mat with that wonderful flowing kind of grappling seen in lucha that really keeps the action going and the spots rolling. Okonomi is just as impressive, maybe a little more stilted than Nosawa but easily more physically capable, and the sequences between the two are probably the closest thing to authentic lucha in this match. El Enigma is probably the most interesting part of the match, at least to me, as he actually knows how to work a match with this kind of pacing and format but does a damn good job of integrating his MUGA roots into his contributions. He gets the highlight of the match when he hits Tortuga with the dreaded nutshot uppercut directly into a real God Damner of a german suplex, the type that folds you up enough to fit into the carry-on luggage heading back to Mexico. Tortuga, IWA Japan trainee and career Guy That Exists, definitely falls in last place for this match, but even he has his moments. He's got a nice bit of snap to his arm drags and works pretty cleanly for a guy that showcased his absolutely awful push-up form on a previous CMLL Japan show. Even with this match being based around everyone getting cool stuff in, there are still some nice moments of a larger story, like Cacao and Enigma ripping into Okonomi's mask and really beating the hell out of him. It's fascinating to know that even before Gurentai existed, NOSAWA and MAZADA innately knew how to foul effectively as a unit. Even with this clipped down to about a third of the actual runtime, this still ends up being pretty damn fun.

Match Rating: B-

Masao Ando vs. Yoshihisa Mio (GENTEN 04/19/2015)

    A massive shout out to my good friend Ciel. This is one of his favorite matches ever, and probably his biggest find in his obsessive searches for any and all information regarding his favorite wrestlers. He originally stumbled across the file of this match on Yoshihisa Mio's abandoned blog, and only in the last year or so have we found that Mio himself posted the match to YouTube four years ago. This is in Masao Ando's MMA gym, where the ring ropes are literal ropes and the mats seem to be paper thin, laid on top of solid concrete. On Ando's old blog, he explained that he felt "love at first sight" when seeing Mio for the first time, and on that whim challenged Mio to face him in the main event of his produce show. I guess it was just obvious to everyone that this match would be great, and they were all damn right. This is incredibly tight professional wrestling, the kind of work where nothing is given up without struggle and everything is a process of breaking down the opponent. The matwork in this match is amazing, no two ways about it. Mio is such a fast grappler, moving across the mat with borderline Tamura speed and hunting for limbs like a starved wolf. Masao Ando, meanwhile, is a complete beast of a man himself, able to at point completely manhandle Mio and force control. The way he drags and flips Mio around almost enters the territory of disrespect, and when he finally gets around to doing more pro wrestling moves, a lot of them are just Ando treating Mio like a ragdoll. Every single bump on the World's Thinnest Ring Mat sounds like utter death. I have to imagine Ando is just a lunatic and wanted to force all the wrestlers on this show to suffer in the same way he suffers sparring in this ring on a regular basis. Honestly, I have nothing else to say that wouldn't spoil major moments of the match. Click on the link and check this out. The match is only 11 minutes long and there's no time wasted. Even with the very pro wrestling moments of this match, I have no qualms declaring it one of the best shoot style matches of the last 10 years.

Match Rating: A-

Antonio Koinoki vs. Genichiro Tenryu (WGWF 05/31/2010)

    The majority of Tenryu's best matches of the last 10 years of his career can be classified as "beatings." Old Man Tenryu wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and decides to make it someone else's problem. KENTA, Kengo, and many more were given the closest thing to a death sentence in the great sport. This is Antonio Koinoki's turn in the electric chair. Antonio Koinoki is, for all intent and purposes, a comedian; his wrestling is a joke by design. He is an inadequate Inoki, failing at the most basic spots and constantly finding ways to hurt himself doing the most innocuous things. So, how does an old Tenryu in a bad mood respond to an actual professional wrestling comedian? With maybe his most violent performance of the 21st century, that's how. He beats Koinoki within an inch of his life with some of the most ruthless punches, kicks, and chops Tenryu's thrown in his entire career, bloodying up Koinoki's mouth and legitimately putting an imprint of his boot's laces on the side of Koinoki's face. But, if you can look beyond the violence for just a moment, this match is a truly special performance for Koinoki, and one of the best examples of Tenryu's silent storytelling in this period of his career. Tenryu tells the entire story of the match through his facial expressions, going from general annoyance and frustration at this stupid jokester doing his little twirls and ineffective Inoki spots, to complete and utter rage at Koinoki's refusal to stay down. But for Koinoki, this match is proof of his resolve as a wrestler. He does all of his regular spots and eats shit as usual, but Tenryu's violence is some real life-or-death type stuff, and when put in the hot seat, Koinoki decides to keep on fighting to prove his worth as an actual wrestler, clenching his teeth and throwing his own live rounds no matter how ineffective they are. That's almost the magic of this match. Koinoki's ineffectiveness starts as just a joke, but soon turns into the crux of the match, evolving from a funny little gag to the one thing Koinoki has to overcome no matter what. He never does overcome his canonical weakness, but the enzuigiri that rattles Tenryu is all he really needs. Antonio Koinoki has the soul of a professional wrestler. Tenryu just had to rip the soul out for people to see it.

Match Rating: A-

Masashi Takeda vs. Koichiro Kimura (Kazushigumi 06/02/2009)

    Damn man, I miss when Kazushi Miyamoto posted matches from his old promotion to his YouTube channel. There's still a lot that hasn't been released, but nowadays he's too preoccupied with vlogging and hypebeasting to return to his roots. Kazushi, if you're reading this, just know I would gladly drop all plans and turn this into the official Kazushigumi blog if you uploaded all the full shows to your channel. Anyways, what an insane matchup, both on paper and in practice. This is rookie-ish Takeda still rocking that shooter brain pattern against old and fed up Koichiro Kimura. Takeda has an awesome look here, sporting some slick black trunks and white boots along with the customary MMA gloves (this is a "Kazushi Gumi Comprehensive Rules" match, which basically means it's an MMA ruleset but worked). And man, do they get some mileage outta the gloves. There's a ton of closed fist punches to the face and body from both men, but especially Kimura, who really loves to throw a shitty little jab to the jaw right before doing anything in this match. There's some really nice mat grappling moments from both men, with Kimura doing his MMA terminator schtick and Takeda fighting for survival with massive bursts of energy and impressive technique. The best work in this match absolutely comes from when these ideologies butt heads, like Takeda getting sick of Kimura's head stomps by flying to his feet and letting loose with wild haymakers and throws. Really, even though this is happening in Kazushigumi, this almost feels like it comes from an alternate world Fu-ten, where Takeshi Ono started the promotion instead of Daisuke Ikeda. Now I'm thinking about a theoretical Masashi Takeda Fu-ten run and I'm getting sad that it didn't happen. Really though, this match does enough to fill the void in my heart in that regard. I honestly really want to give this the full-on "A" rating, but I do think a few too many strikes land without the right amount of oomph (maybe more the fault of the venue's acoustics than the combatants), and it needed to go just a little longer with maybe one or two more big moments. For what it is though, this is a real Ass Kicker, God Damner, etc. A Match That Fucks The Butt and things of that nature.

Match Rating: B+

Comprehensive Super Rider #5

            (Written by jom)

    How long has it been since the last one of these? Two YEARS??? Jesus Christ. It's about time we jump back on the Battle Hopper and ride into the night with our good friend, Mr. Shooter Super Rider. 

Super Rider vs. Uchu Power X (PWC 05/09/1996)

    PWC's two big bad shooters collide in the holy temple. This is a "No Rope Escape Instant Knockout" match, which means that there are no rope escapes and any shot that would usually initiate a down count will instead immediately end the match. This is a match that demands perfection in fighting. Any slip-up can be catastrophic, and any door left open may be the path to defeat. Rider and Uchu, however, are two legitimate monster shooters, and this feels like the closest the sleaze indies ever came to delivering a superfight. Everything that happens here is struggled for and fought over. There are counters on counters to an almost comedic extent, like Uchu's armbar-countering slam being countered into a heel hook by Rider, only for Uchu to counter that by keeping himself standing and slapping the taste out of Rider's mouth. That leads me to my biggest compliment for this match: it never felt like they were holding back. Especially with a match type like this, there's almost an expectation that they would rein it in and avoid throwing real killshots, focusing entirely on the groundwork to fill time. While matwork does make up a good chunk of this match, there's absolutely enough stand-and-bang to keep me happy, and every strike is thrown full-force. Kicks let out shotgun blasts and shoteis ring my ears as much as it rang theirs. Even with my glowing evaluation, it's not a faultless match. Especially around rounds three and four (this is five 3-minute rounds, by the way), this match slightly suffers from the RINGS problem; that is, some of the matwork just doesn't have enough happening to keep me locked onto the match. There's just a bit too much sitting in mount position to ignore, even if it happens so little that it only barely affects my enjoyment overall. To all the shoot style fans in attendance, seek this one out. It's the sleaziest UWFi midcard classic you've never seen. 

Match Rating: A-

Super Rider vs. Hayato Mashita (RJPW 06/17/2010)

    Hayato Mashita is not someone I have any particular interest in. He's probably the least interesting Sayama trainee of them all. Don't get me wrong, I've seen him in good matches, but I'd be hard pressed to say he was the reason any match was ever great. He's always had the problem of being particularly rough around the edges and generally boring compared to his peers in the world of 21st century shooters. Having said all of that, this is probably one of his best performances ever. Mashita is legitimately mean here, jumping Rider before the bell and letting loose with kicks, punches, and headbutts aplenty. He also does a perfectly fine job of targeting Rider's hurt leg, kicking it out and working it over with holds just enough to make it an understood problem for Rider. He's still very rough, but that roughness lends a lot to the grittiness of his beatdowns, so it somewhat works out for him. He also still has no idea how to run the ropes three years into his career, and his kicks are embarrassingly quiet, but I just appreciate how god damn motivated he was here. Anyways, Rider ruled as usual. He's no longer a spring chicken, but he's still got a hop in his step and a snap in his kicks. His rolling elbow is gnarly and his suicide dive is, well, suicidal. He even busts out the rare diving RIDER ELBOW, which not only looked really cool, but also gave me a great photo for the top of the blog post. It's not a great match, and it's certainly nowhere near the last one we talked about, but I had fun with this one. A real feather in the cap kind of match for Mashita, but just another Thursday in the office for Rider.

Match Rating: B-

Super Rider & Wild Pony vs. Junichi Hanawa & KURO-OBI (H-Production 08/11/2024)

    We've reached the big '24. Kamen Shooter Super Rider is 62 years old. A documentary on his career and current life has just premiered in Japan. No, really! I haven't watched it yet (and I have no idea how I would) but it's really cool to see something like this made. Rider's such an important figure in both MMA and pro wrestling in ways that very few people know or realize. Anyways, here's Old Man Rider wrestling in the world's smallest bar, working in a ring with chain ropes and so little room outside of it that both teams have to stand on the same side of the "apron" when outside. We're so deep in the muck here that we're practically swimming in it. Look beyond this strange environment filled with anime girl masks and moth beasts though and you're left with a pretty damn good match. This is the oldest of the taped Old Man Rider performances, and while he's clearly slowed down, he's still moving a lot better than a man in his 60s should, with his grappling against KURO-OBI being particularly inspiring. It's fascinating to see him doing restless sprawling and scrambling against a masked shooter in 1996, only to skip forward 28 years and see him do it again. This time around it's a little less hungry and a little more "two brown belts having a somewhat spirited spar," but the hold escapes feel desperate enough that the rolling never enters into unserious territory. Outside of this work, the match is generally Rider and Wild Pony attacking Hanawa's leg, and they do a good job of wearing it down convincingly. Pony might actually be my favorite part of the match sans Rider. He's worked under many names and you've probably never seen a single one of his matches, but Pony is a long-time scum indie veteran, and he's clearly so damn good from the small handful of his matches we have. He busts out some nice leg snaps and stomps, along with nailing a beautiful heel kick late in the match. He also hits a super snappy body slam as a kill move at one point, which actually works because the Tokyo Underground Arena ring might be the worst thing to bump on in the whole world. Hanawa and KURO-OBI are both cool enough and play their parts well, but the Rider and Pony team is really what keeps you paying attention here. Another fun outing from Rider and further evidence that we should try and track down as much footage of Wild Pony as possible.

Match Rating: B