Spitball Reviews #6

         (Written by jom)

Masao Ando vs. Takahiro Tababa (Mutoha 04/20/2019)

    A matchup that's happened so much, the fans in Japan gave it a nickname! "Aka Oni v Ao Oni", or red demon (Tababa) versus blue demon (Ando). Pretty fitting name in my honest opinion. Ando and Tababa are two of the best tubby crowbars in a modern Japanese indie scene shockingly filled with quality tubby crowbars. With how the industry in general has progressed, you'd think that type of wrestler would be a dying breed, but there's inexplicably more of them around than anyone knows what to do with. These two are given ten minutes to beat the tar out of each other in front of a small Mutoha crowd, and there are very few people more qualified for that type of environment than Ando and Tababa. Even if I've referred to them both as crowbars and demons, they're not the exact same wrestlers, and the little changes in execution between the two are really where this rivalry shines. Ando is an incredibly labored wrestler. Everything he does feels heavy and strained, every kick taking so much power from Ando that it causes his whole body to move with his leg. A universal human experience is every person's first time swinging a large stick. We've felt our own bodies move almost involuntarily, rotating with as much force as possible to send that stick to high heaven. Masao Ando has large sticks for limbs, and he's doing his damndest to swing them directly into the head of Tababa. On the opposite end, Tababa is a precision fighter. Every strike lands with all of the force focused on the sharpest point. When he kicks, the point of his boot is what connects with Ando's ribs. When he knees, the kneecap is what flies into Ando's gut. This isn't an exact summation of his striking, but it's clear that's what his intent is. Ando is full force everything, and Tababa is concentrated power. Beyond all of that pontificating, this is just a great brawl of a shoot style match. Ando slams Tababa hard multiple times throughout the match and nearly breaks his neck with a german suplex, and Tababa's unrelenting with his hyperextending holds and kick flurries. With many matches, the action builds until it boils over and turns into something uncontrollable. This match exists in a state of being boiled over from bell to bell. An amazing display of how awesome wrestling can be when two guys really work like they want to kick each other's asses. 

Match Rating: A-

Ryo Tamiyasu vs. Junpuku Yamamoto (J2K 09/23/2003)

    Ryo Tamiyasu makes his official return to pro wrestling. I've actually covered his initial return as Riki Senshu on the blog before (in one of my favorite posts from last year), but the name "Ryo Tamiyasu" hadn't been listed on a matchcard since his retirement until now, so there's the official part of it. Any time I watch work involving the J2K guys, I'm always fascinated by the commonalities of their work - the little touches that link all of them back to Masanobu Kurisu. Tamiyasu and Yamamoto are two of the strongest examples when it comes to Kurisu's influence on his trainees. Both love to vocalize. Both have the execution of basics down pat, and aren't afraid to rely on those basics instead of pushing themselves to "innovate" or needlessly change their offense up. Both turn up the heat by introducing more force into their movements. As such, this match is the tightly-worked, hard-hitting affair that I tend to love. It clocks in at just under ten minutes but manages to properly tell the story of a high stakes main event without feeling rushed or forced. Tamiyasu's punches and Yamamoto's uppercuts regularly have audible connection, and an exclamation point is placed at the end of every movement with both men's yelling and shit-talking. Looking beyond all the smaller detail work and connections to Kurisu, both are just so awesome at throwing bombs, especially in a match where the bomb-throwing is built so well considering how little time they use to build it. Yamamoto's piledrivers are disgusting and reckless in the best way, and Tamiyasu's out-of-nowhere northern lights bomb completely blew me away. Maybe you could complain about a match this short having such a climactic-feeling finishing stretch, or you could point out the one or two times where the men could've tightened up the match structure and spacing between work. I won't though. This was great, a total blast of a watch and further proof that Kurisu built an army of monster workers throughout the 90s that'll never truly get the appreciation they deserve.

Match Rating: A-

Masakazu Fukuda vs. Masaaki Mochizuki (WYF 08/04/1998)

    The key singles match of the endless WYF vs. Buko Dojo rivalry. The feud kicked off in early 1997, and here we are over a year later. Karatekas hold a grudge. Rather than being a different style fight, this ends up more as Fukuda and Mochizuki successfully predicting the juniors style of the 2000s. Both men are really talented and know how to get into their spots well, and they pull off a ton of little counter sequences, none of which ever go so long that it loses the magic. Mochizuki is a monster kicker who's gone from Kitao's poster child for his karate revolution to a truly masterful hybrid junior. Fukuda fights back against Mochizuki's quick feet with real mat supremacy, grinding him down with arm holds after a mishap results in Mochizuki slamming his arm into the ring post. Does the limb work lead anywhere? Not particularly, but it fills time well and never goes too long as to require some sort of bigger payoff or heightened attention to selling. Honestly, as I write this, I wonder why I loved this match so much. There's so many things about this match that I hold against matches that occurred in the last five years. Limb selling that goes nowhere? check. A somewhat stupid opening spot? They did the double dropkick, so check. An abrupt no-sell? check. On paper, this match has no right getting as much love from me as it does. I think what makes this match different from many other matches to feature these same tropes is not only that this match predates many of those matches by multiple decades, but also that these two execute these spots so well that I really don't care. The no-sell is especially forgiven, as a Mochizuki DDT is immediately no-sold by Fukuda into a deep armbar. There's a quickness and urgency to it that takes it from a corny "I power up through fighting spirit!!!" shitshow and turns it into a genuine burst of energy at the sight of a perfect opportunity. I'd say this is a great match if you turn your brain off, but it's honestly great enough that the brain can stay entirely on and still find a ton to enjoy here. I pray that I one day get to peek into the reality where both these guys found a home in a more fitting fed in their later years like Battlarts or ZERO1. This type of work would've done them very kindly.

Match Rating: A-

Hiroshi Watanabe vs. Phantom Funakoshi (SGP 05/04/1998)

    Is this the best match to ever happen at a flea market? At least within SGP's flea market show history, there's a few contenders, like the great space war where one of the Brahmans breaks an incredibly expensive Astro Boy statue, forcing Great Sasuke to buy it and use it in the next great space war. Still, this has to be the standout match of that catalogue. Watanabe is a Kotetsu Yamamoto trainee and Funakoshi is an Inoki idolizer, so they deliver the type of technical masterclass that would've blown a lot of people's minds if it didn't happen in front of passively-interested passersby. It feels like a higher level midcard match ripped right out of early 1980s NJPW, with incredible displays of body control like Watanabe's awe-inspiring escape from a knuckle-lock, and a real smorgasbord (I should have to pay a tax for using this word) of slick counters for holds and even slicker counters for counters. The work both guys put into all of their holds is laudable as well. Funakoshi spends a solid section of the early match trying his damndest to maintain a side headlock, and the way he rotates his body on the ground to keep Watanabe away from breaking the grip is immaculate. They stick to the grappling for a solid 2/3rds of the match, but once they get rolling with everything else, the quality stays just as high. Both men throw out some really great suplexes, like Watanabe's textbook german or Funakoshi's super impressive uranage. Watanabe even goes to the top rope and hits a crazy looking diving splash for a close 2.9. I try to avoid just listing moves as much as I can, but I honestly don't know what else to do with this match outside of repeatedly stating how perfect the work is. It's a match displaced out of time, meant for a raucous Korakuen Hall in 1982 instead of a flea market sixteen years later. It's no wonder that Watanabe would lead the charge with high-level grappling in the 21st century with Mumeijuku/Mutoha, and it's honestly a damn shame that Funakoshi never got to work there before hanging up the boots earlier this year. This one's available from Hasegawa for only $2. Bite the bullet and enjoy what may be the best technical wrestling match of 1998.

Match Rating: A

MIKAMI vs. Kuishinbo Kamen (Kamen Produce 12/15/2010)

    Kuishinbo Kamen's mask has angry eyes for this one. You know it's time to get serious. MIKAMI and Kamen actually have a ton of history, producing some great work in the 90s as both partners and opponents. This is their first time meeting in the ring since Kamen became Kamen, and I guess there was a score to settle? Kamen is an entirely different beast than usual in this match. Gone are the bits and goofs; say hello to Great Kabuki-style uppercuts and punt kicks. This is one of those real great juniors matches that pretty successfully blends a lot of different work together thanks to the talents of both men. MIKAMI and Kamen seamlessly flow from clean and pretty grappling to gritty punching and slapping to high octane juniors sprinting, all while maintaining a great pace and properly escalating everything. MIKAMI gets a busted mouth from all the Kabuki uppercuts and while he never really responds with equivalent violence, he more than makes up for it with massive bombs, like the ludicrous spot on the outside you really need to see to believe. The fans being so behind Kamen for the entire match is almost shocking considering his viciousness, albeit it makes complete sense. This is Kuishinbo Kamen's arena. These are Kuishinbo Kamen's people. Better to cheer on the devil you know than surrender your hopes to the hot guy you don't. Luckily, MIKAMI never tries to go for a sympathetic babyface-in-peril angle, and relies entirely on himself with tricked-out juniors work and a great mind for countering. His flying codebreaker is such an awesome move, easily the best execution of that move I've ever seen and perfectly combo'd with one of his always-great schoolboy pins. Speaking of schoolboys, the cradle rush near the end of this match is so great, and truly works here as opposed to a lot of other matches with this type of spot. MIKAMI and Kamen are trickster juniors and have been for their entire careers. They've won tons of matches with roll-ups and cradles, so out of everyone to spend a minute going for just those, these two are the most apt for the occasion. Even with some moments of dead air, this feels undeniable to me. A wonderful encounter, the type that makes me long for the reality where these two faced off at their physical peaks around 2003.

Match Rating: A-

Spitball Reviews #4

(Written by jom)

Southern Cross vs. Tadanobu Fujisawa (H.EVolution 10/12/2014)

    Inexplicably, this is a really good match. I've talked about both of these guys before when reviewing K-WEST, but only Fujisawa elicited praise. He's an incredibly competent Kurisu trainee with the capabilities to be a scary brutalizer, fitting for someone with his lineage. Southern Cross, meanwhile, is bad! I last saw him in 2010 when he wore a mask and had a lanky build, but here he is in 2014, unmasked and possessing the body type of a divorced father. His previously-seen work was sloppy, boring, and practically screamed "I shouldn't be within 500 feet of a wrestling ring". He always came off as the type of wrestler you'd only see "succeed" in a place like FU*CK!, a promotion that would treat his lack of skills like a skill itself. I came into this hoping it would just be a Fujisawa squash, a chance for him to be mean and cruel to a tomato can worker and make me happy with unnecessary violence. What we end up getting is still pretty close to this, but Cross got all the chances he needed to prove that a lot can change in four years. For all of Fujisawa's dick kicks and stiff shots, Cross returned fire with impressive chops and displays of raw power, like a really snappy Tenryu-style powerbomb. He does a damn good job on the receiving end of things, selling Fujisawa's shots with a lot of grunting and recoiling. His blood getting all over his white pants after a Fujisawa shoot headbutt is just the icing on top. I think the best way to describe this match would be a display of Southern Cross's will. The Fujisawa bullying is sick and gross and all that, but I can't help but come away from this with the lasting image of Cross's bloody visage and never-say-die attitude. An infinitely impressive performance from someone I never would've thought could deliver such a thing.

Asian Cougar & Great Sensei vs. Tarzan Goto & Masked Saturn (Samurai Project 01/25/1998)

    I only tracked this match down because of an old Japanese blog post talking about a supposed incident where Goto stabbed Cougar in his left arm with a broken broom and gave Cougar massive scars. That incident never takes place in this match and I have no idea whether the writer was misremembering which Goto vs. Cougar match it was or if it was just a plain ol' lie. Regardless, I have to find that writer's contact information and try to thank them. This match, as a whole, is borderline great. Sensei and Saturn (Hiroshi Hatanaka and Mitsunobu Kikuzawa respectively) only exist to detract. Sensei is a botch machine who slows the pace even if he has some good strikes. Saturn hits good punches and big moves but does nothing to further the match itself. The only two men that mattered on this day were Asian Cougar and Tarzan Goto. 1998 is part of that heavenly period of time where Goto could be put into any situation and deliver a great performance just by being himself, and when Goto wanted to put a little extra effort in? That's when you got the type of stuff that changed my entire perspective on wrestling. 1998 is also the start of Asian Cougar's run as one of the best spotfest workers of all time, but it's also when he sets himself into that role without much deviation for the rest of his career. I love Cougar and I've been very vocal on this blog about how much I love him, but I'd be the first to tell you he's never exhibited much range. He's got a winning formula and very little reason to do much else. This is different; this is the first Cougar performance I've seen where the man is truly a victim. Goto smashes dozens of chairs over his body, throws a table at his head, stabs his face with a broom snapped in half. Cougar's golden mask gets ripped wide open to expose a bright red ocean underneath his skin. Cougar bumps and staggers and collapses like a wounded deer, hopping around looking for any chance to escape. Cougar's greatest work comes once he's able to fight back. No slingshot leg drops; every single leg drop is done off the top rope for maximum damage to himself and his opponent. I've never seen Cougar so reliant on the top rope, so willing to bust his ass to hurt someone that much more. It's a subtle change to his moveset, a single rope difference between Cougar's regular arsenal, and yet it feels like the world has shifted. If this was a Cougar and Goto singles match with even more work between both, there's a chance it could've turned out as something truly special. As it stands though, it's an amazing preview of a match I truly didn't know I needed so badly. 

Minoru Tanaka vs. MIKAMI (Batos Cafe 12/15/2019)

    Two junior legends finally getting to duke it out in a singles match, albeit at least a decade past their primes. Let's get one thing straight right off the bat: 2019 Minoru Tanaka is not 1999 Minoru Tanaka, and 2019 MIKAMI is not 2005 MIKAMI. These aren't the greatest freak athletes in the world anymore. These are two veterans of the indie scene with a lot less to give than they had during the glory days. Coming into this match expecting to see these two busting out the flips and dives like the Y2K apocalypse hadn't happened yet would be a fool's errand. This is a match way more focused on what they can do rather than what they can't, and it benefits greatly from that mentality. Both men have their spots they've perfected over the years, and they do a great job of blending their work together into a seamless match. Minoru Tanaka is, of course, great. Even in his late 40s he still has great execution on all of his work, and, more than anything, he's dependable. At the same time, he's not particularly interested in getting out of his comfort zone. He's much happier using ol' reliable in the exact same way he always does rather than change up his game this late in his career. That's what makes MIKAMI stand out so much more. MIKAMI is a master at taking the pre-established and turning it into something new. He's hit a hundred Mickey Boomerangs throughout his career, but here he is at 45, hitting one on the apron. I've seen him put wrestlers in the Stinger since the mid-2000s, but I've never seen him set it up with repeated double axe handles between the shoulder blades. They're changes to the arsenal that might come off as unnoteworthy to some, but it shows a willingness to keep things fresh that many of MIKAMI's peers don't possess. When MIKAMI eventually calls it quits, wrestling will be losing one of the greatest and most under-appreciated minds in the history of the sport.

Kenji Fukimoto & Hideaki Sumi vs. Necro Butcher & Mad Man Pondo (FU*CK! 05/04/2007)

    I bought this whole DVD just for this match. Sure, there's other matches on the show that I'd enjoy checking out. If this match didn't happen I'd still probably get it! The fact is this match did happen, and it was the overwhelming force which motivated me to get this DVD. Necro Butcher is possibly the greatest American wrestler of all time, and Sumi is the greatest karate pro wrestler of the 21st century. In my mind, putting them together is money. In execution, it is ABSOLUTELY money. Sumi and Necro do so much great work here, from Necro pantomiming at Sumi that his karate will not work against his brawling, to Sumi's karate doing a damn good job against him after all. Necro is wonderful on selling duty and fights back with lots of gut punches and face grabbing, and after getting embarrassed by Sumi's karate flurries he commits himself to Sabu'ing chairs at Sumi randomly throughout the match. Considering this, Fukimoto and Pondo should be afterthoughts, but both put in their own quality performances. Pondo is in full plunder mode, pulling out a massive knife to cut up Fukimoto's face and beating down both Fukimoto and Sumi with random metal objects. Fukimoto is almost entirely on selling duty, getting bloodied up and screaming for his life, but eventually fights back with some great lariats. This is sadly only eight minutes and there are a handful of awkward miscommunication moments, but, for the most part, this delivers on expectations.

Yusha Amon vs. Minoru Suzuki (Tokyo Tama Luchas 08/18/2013)

    I don't like Minoru Suzuki. I understand the appeal of the "murder grandpa", although I don't agree with its validity, nor do I have any interest in talking with anyone that calls Suzuki that nickname unironically. A regular Suzuki match, at best, is funny because of how bad he is. He's an uncaring "legend" who collects paychecks by putting in the least amount of effort possible during wrestling matches. He's been a consistent net negative on professional wrestling since returning in the 2000s, after spending 10 years having fixed fights in Pancrase. The only type of Minoru Suzuki I truly find interesting is the Minoru Suzuki that works against the best and brightest of the scum indies. Whether it's the New Year's Summit tag where he plastered Keita yano around Korakuen Hall or one of the many neighborhood-spanning brawls he's done in places like Hokuto Pro, something about getting to work in the shoddiest promotions in Japan motivates Suzuki to actually care about his wrestling. This match is no exception, with Suzuki facing international man of mystery and possible Solar trainee Yusha Amon in Amon's own promotion. Minoru Suzuki's performance here isn't particularly out of the ordinary for a Suzuki match of the time, but there's something about the way Suzuki revels in Amon's lack of ability that really works to make me enjoy him here. He spends much of the early match refusing to sell or cooperate with him, laughing along with the crowd at his flubs and failures while grinding him down with the most basic holds possible, posing for photos along the way. He completely disregards all of Amon's offense, and the few times he does acknowledge it he completely denies it. The standout moment from the first two falls of the match (it's worked under "Mexico Rules") is easily when Amon goes for a flying cross chop and gets literally kicked out of the air. It's almost like Suzuki is working a comedy match while Amon is trying his damndest to work seriously. When Amon does start forcing Suzuki to work a little seriously, it feels like a life-changing event for Amon, proof that he can be a force to be reckoned with in professional wrestling. That period of time doesn't last long, but God bless him for getting to have that happen at all. Is this a legitimately great match? I don't know. There's a lot of talking to the crowd, a little to0 much reliance on Suzuki's usual schtick, and I just have bias against the guy. Still, I had way more fun with this than I ever thought I'd have with a 2010s Minoru Suzuki match.

Spitball Reviews #1

     (Written by jom)

    I still don't feel like reviewing Onita Pro (I've been way too busy with RL stuff to commit to watching a full show on my own while taking notes) but I do feel like writing. I also don't want to write in my usual "half recap, half breakdown" style. Instead, I'm just gonna write down some thoughts on random matches I've watched recently and call it a day. The series is called "Spitball Reviews" because the reviews are small and I'm shooting 'em out malformed and at high speeds. Will they be good? Hopefully!!

KING vs. Cosmo Soldier (KAGEKI 12/23/2009)

    KING is a pretty awesome lumbering masked heavyweight doing a blend of sumo and power moves. He starts the match by doing a tsuppari rush, sending Cosmo into the corner and himself into my heart. Cosmo meanwhile is a 10,000 IQ worker who does some gritty leg targeting before KING really starts owning him, leading Cosmo to abandon the leg work and morph into a really compelling junior-in-peril. There's a lot happening in the match considering it only goes nine minutes. The finish does feel abrupt but in a really violent way, like a fist fight ending with one dude breaking the unwritten "no grappling" rule and putting on a rear naked choke. Am I sad about us not having the alternate version of this match where Cosmo just does really vicious leg work for the entire runtime? A little!!! I'm still happy with what we got though.

Match Rating: B

Ni Hao vs. Makoto Saito (WYF 09/13/1998)

    Wrestle Yume Factory in a random field! Ni Hao's awesome theme gets cut off because of technical issues and he just jogs to the ring as the fans clap for him. Around this point in Japanese wrestling, it was pretty commonplace to see traditional junior vs. hybrid junior matchups, so it's cool to see the pretty rare hybrid junior vs. shoot junior matchup instead. Ni Hao is half a year into wrestling and already one of the coolest wrestlers ever. He's damn good at picking apart Saito here, constantly going for limbs and working over different parts of the body hoping for one to give out. His throws also have an insane amount of snap to them, and they all look dangerously close to putting Saito in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Saito eventually taking control with big bombs like a springboard double foot stomp feels perfect for this type of pairing since Ni Hao, by virtue of being a CAPTURE guy, is much more susceptible to cutters and drivers than he is to grappling. Ni Hao and Saito keep the intensity going from bell to bell and end the match right when they need to. Nothing that would blow you away but still a lot of fun. God I love Ni Hao.

Match Rating: B

Macho Pump & Masao Orihara vs. Sabu & MIKAMI (Michinoku Pro 10/16/2003)

    MIKAMI and Sabu teaming up feels like the bump freak equivalent to when a famous red ranger would appear in a newer Power Rangers series and work with that team's red ranger. We need to get a bunch of other bump freaks together with these two to do the wrestling equivalent to "Forever Red". If we're to continue this comparison, Masao Orihara is Lord Zedd as he is the fucking devil, throwing lots of unprotected chairshots to MIKAMI's head and hitting gross double stomps to his ribs. At some point he seems to break MIKAMI's nose and MIKAMI bleeds all over his white mesh shirt. MIKAMI, for his part, is an amazing seller, doing a great job of stumbling and ragdolling for all of Orihara's offense like he's suffering from intense blood loss. Macho Pump is fun enough as a little goon mostly there to support Orihara and hit one or two moves of his own (which are just moves stolen from The Rock). Sabu and MIKAMI do get some points to run wild and hit all of their cool moves, with Sabu throwing a chairshot at Orihara as revenge for his new friend's gruesome beating. I came into this hoping to see Sabu and MIKAMI doing tons of crazy spots in a big car crash of a match. Instead, this is the Orihara and MIKAMI show, and both guys do a great job stiffing and selling respectively so I still thought this was great. Hopefully more Sabu in Michinoku crops up where Sabu and MIKAMI get to go full chaos mode like I originally hoped for.

Match Rating: B+

Hiroshi Itakura vs. Ryuma Go (Oriental Pro 09/12/1992)

    A real baptism in blood. Itakura takes on his mentor as part of a trial series of matches to prove Itakura has what it takes to be Oriental Pro's eventual top guy (Oriental Pro would die before that could ever happen). Ryuma Go decides Itakura needs intense brain damage to take on this role so he spends the entire match hitting no-hand shoot headbutts. No kidding, Go throws at least 50 skull-cracking headbutts, with Itakura getting busted open hardway after only the fourth one. Itakura, for his part, responds with equal stiffness in his handful of hope spots, but every moment of triumph leads directly into Go dragging him back to hell. If you've ever seen Masanobu Kurisu vs. Shoji Akiyoshi (specifically the handheld) this match feels thematically similar, albeit Kurisu was a lot more varied and intelligent in his beatdown. Ryuma Go is a dumb man. He's called the "pro wrestling idiot" for a reason. His head doesn't store information. His head is filled with rocks and he will use this rock-filled head to kill his son.

Match Rating: B+

Drake Morimatsu & Yuiga vs. Tarzan Goto & Shinigami (Yuiga Produce 10/30/2004)

    Shinigami and Morimatsu do not exist in this match. They each get one or two moments to show out, but are primarily just warm bodies in the ring rather than anything worth paying attention to. No, this is all about Goto and Yuiga. Goto might be my favorite plunderer of all time. He's so good at grabbing any object within range and turning it into a deadly weapon. He was in prime form here, stabbing and smashing things into Yuiga's head while doing evil laughs and little dances. While Yuiga was mostly selling throughout the match (which she did really well), she took her chances to fight back and ran with them, throwing really stiff strikes and hitting awesome judo throws. Her botched avalanche judo throw on Shinigami looked like it should've killed the man, and honestly turned out much better because of the botch. This is up there as one of Goto's better 2000s matches, and is a real feather in the cap for Yuiga so early into her career.

Match Rating: B+

Onita Pro 08/22/1999

  (Written by jom)

    I guess the bi-weekly schedule is back on track? Probably not. I have finals for the next few weeks and then I graduate. Life is about to suck. Four years ago everything I knew changed, and now everything is about to change again. But no matter how many things, places, or people come and go, Onita will always be here for me. Onto the review!

Fushitori Karasu & Walbuta vs. Animal Welfare Association Satan & Rey Pandita

    The first two Onita Pro shows took place in Korakuen Hall. We've finally left the sacred temple, and have arrived in a random field. The outside venue means explosions are finally on the table, but it also means we get natural lighting pro wrestling! It's a weird thing to love so much, but ever since I played SmackDown vs. Raw 2011 and discovered the greatness of the "Tribute to the Troops" arena, I've been a big proponent of outdoor shows, especially ones happening in the daylight. Plus, well-lit outdoor night shows rule, and just from the show-opening music video, this show's going from sunup to sundown.

    I must ask once more: who the fuck is Rey Pandita? He's been the true anchor of these Onita Pro shows, and yet I still don't know for sure who is under the mask. A damn shame if you ask me because he really deserves his flowers for his work here. A better question to ask though would be WHO THE HELL IS ANYONE? We've got FOUR unknown entities here! Well, four in August of 1999, because we actually know who one of these guys are. Fushitori Karasu is... Fushitori Karasu! Although this is his debut as a pro wrestler, he's going to become a regular in the series. He's another Hayabusa knockoff, sitting on an island with luminaries such as Great Takeru and Garuda. He'd wrestle under the Karasu name for his entire career, working a bunch of sleaze indies and eventually becoming a Goto Ippa guy before silently retiring from wrestling (outside of a special appearance on Tokai Bushido V3's retirement show). 

    So... what the fuck was this match? I've watched it twice now, and I still don't really know. We know Karasu is making his debut, but I have a strong suspicion that Walbuta is too. Commentary keeps repeating that they're Hayabusa parodies like you couldn't just guess from the gear. I have a feeling that if you're a Japanese indie fan tuning into an Onita Pro broadcast, you know who Hayabusa is. Although, you can definitely tell that everyone here, from the audience to the commentary to even the wrestlers, has no idea what's going on. 

    Karasu (the person I was most interested in seeing here) was in the ring for maybe a minute, only doing bad matwork and one alright evasion into a shitty rolling solebutt. He seems to actively avoid wrestling, constantly tagging out and forcing a gassed Walbuta to come back in and hit more incredibly sloppy moves. Walbuta is really something to witness here. He throws some alright kicks but all of his aerial offense is dangerously sloppy. Outside of a sloppy-but-kinda-good-because-its-sloppy Asai Moonsault, the safest-looking move he hits is a diving crossbody where he entirely overshoots Satan and almost hits a slingblade on him in the process.

    Pandita is good though! He hits a nice dropkick and slightly overshoots a moonsault (just like Kikuzawa tended to do around this time... I think my "Pandita = Kikuzawa" theory from the last post may have more merit than expected), and that's really all he does here. Satan is entirely worthless until he TURNS ON PANDITA AND FLOORS HIM WITH A FUCKED UP LARIAT. And then he high-fives both of the fake Hayabusas. And then Walbuta hits a bad avalanche hurricanrana. And then it seems like Karasu is gonna hit a match-finishing dive but NO! He points at Walbuta and Walbuta begrudgingly climbs the top rope to hit a bad frog splash for the win. Hayabusa's theme plays as the three walk out. I am unable to process all of this and begin to cry.

    Honestly, if they had just let Walbuta die in the ring from exhaustion, never having Karasu tag in to do slow and boring matwork, this could've been a dogshit classic. All it needed was more actual botches and a faster tempo. However, this match just had too much worthless filler between the incredibly bad wrestling, and that's a recipe for disaster. It's the most baffling match I've seen in the project so far, and also definitely the worst. I can't imagine it going lower any time soon.

    Just as a final note, Walbuta never wrestled again after this. And honestly, I kinda get it. 

Match Rating: D

Crusher Maedomari, Miss Mongol, & Shark Tsuchiya vs. Killer Iwami, RIE, & Tsuppari Mack

    Tsuppari Mack is BACK! I had no idea any of the retired FMW women stuck around after the reunion tag on the last show, but luckily the coolest one of them all is here again (and Killer Iwami). Once again, the random assortment of faces are put against the badass face-painted fouler team of Maedomari, Mongol, and Tsuchiya. And the heels come out eating ice cream!! I don't even know man, this sounds incredibly stupid on paper but something about three devious fiends coming out for a match enjoying ice cream cones kinda rules.

    Sadly, this was another bits match like the reunion tag, except without the context of a light-hearted reunion, and less funny bits. That whole ice cream entrance I talked about? That was probably the highlight of the match. The only person particularly interesting was Tsuppari Mack, who did her weird satchel attacks and also hit a really nice kneel kick on Tsuchiya. Of course, the joke was that everyone in the match besides Maedomari and Tsuchiya is weak, so Tsuchiya took the kneel kick, stood there for a second, and then hit a flat back before leaning up and shaking her head in approval at Mack. Whatever.

    There's nothing to really even say about this match. It started! There were jokes! And then it ended! Were some of the jokes funny? A little bit. I'm not even trying to be a killjoy here, I just don't particularly care for comedy wrestling, and I'm starting to get sick of seeing Maedomari and Tsuchiya do it when they could be doing awesome brawls like the one from the first Onita Pro show.

Match Rating: C-

Asian Cougar & Kurokage vs. Kyohei Mikami & Takashi Sasaki

    Thank God, a DDT offer match. This show started on the worst foot possible with a 1-2 punch of shitty tag matches, but Sanshiro Takagi has sent the troops in to save the day. Cougar and Sasaki were in the last DDT juniors tag, where I pointed out both as being good but not all the way figured out yet (especially Sasaki). But, it's been a few months, and a lot can change in that amount of time. 

    Mikami is also here! And Mikami fucking rules. It's not until he changes his name to MIKAMI and becomes the coolest guy ever that he really reaches his peak, but 90s Kyohei Mikami doing incredibly quick hybrid lucharesu shoot style whatever-the-fuck pro wrestling is a sight to behold. Kurokage (the DDT/WYF one, not to be confused with the other Kurokage trained by Kurisu that teams with Diablo all the time) is the odd man out, as everyone else eventually becomes a big name in the 2000s juniors talent pool, but Kurokage/Hebikage/Masahiko Orihara/etc was always a really talented worker, so it's cool to see him too. 

    So this match fucking rocks. Like, it rocks a lot. Even with my praise of all four men at the start, I still came into this with some hesitation. Maybe three months isn't enough for Sasaki and Cougar to figure everything out. Maybe Mikami isn't ready yet to carry the load if this is the case. Maybe Kurokage actually sucks and my memory is wrong. Luckily, not only was I wrong about all of these concerns, the opposite is true. This is really something special.

    Mikami is by far the biggest highlight here. Talk about a guy capable of doing anything. He does some really great work with Cougar both in terms of grappling and high spots (commentary actually mentions that both men started in Hamada's UWF around the same time as trainees so there's a nice little bit of lore that adds just a little bit to it all), and his work with Kurokage is nothing to sneeze at either. I think Mikami's biggest contribution to this match is just how high-octane it felt any time he was involved. Don't get me wrong, Sasaki kept the action going for sure, but Mikami flying in to hit a perfect hurricanrana or one of the best dropkicks ever while moving at speeds usual humans can't even fathom is the type of work that pushes a match from being "fast-paced" to actually breakneck.

    Asian Cougar is probably the next best person here, and that feels insane to say because once again he doesn't do the Cougar Tope Atomico! But man, does he deliver. He more than makes up for not doing that move by doing a bunch of other crazy ones. I've said this before about Cougar, but there may not be another wrestler ever who's better at setting up their spots than Cougar. Every time he hits a leg drop, it feels like a natural occurrence, like a leg drop was the only thing Cougar could even do in that scenario. At the same time, he's wonderful at setting himself up for moves by other wrestlers, positioning himself well and feeding into spots in such an effortless way. He's a guy that not only does big spots, but actually understands how to do them in the best way. And beyond all of that, he just rules. Nobody else was hitting slingshot leg drops to the floor, and nobody else ever will.

    Takashi Sasaki has it all figured out. I said earlier that a lot can change in a few months, but wow. Sasaki feels almost like an entirely different person here. He does a lot of the same moves, but his work feels so much more driven and aggressive, and he's put a lot more focus into throwing strikes and bullying guys rather than experimenting with new moves. That's not to say he doesn't have some new weapons in the arsenal. At one point he hits a slingshot rider kick to the outside and sends Cougar tumbling across the concrete. At another he pulls out a ridiculous twisting fisherman's buster. Unlike his last appearance though, all of this feels so fitting for him, and like he actually knows what he's doing. This is the start of Takashi Sasaki, the relentless asskicker of the Japanese indies.

    Finally, Kurokage. While he's definitely the least interesting part of the match, he also fills his role perfectly. He's here to take a lot of the bumps for his team, while also getting some chances to bust out big moves every now and then. And man, his moves are big alright. Everything he does feels like a bomb, from the Sankakugeri to Sasaki to the crushing Blue Thunder Bomb to Mikami. His moonsault is also a real beauty, and he works really well with Cougar throughout the match. He's a vital part of the match's flow, and more than fills his portions of the match with cool shit. Really, you can't ask for more.

    Eventually, the match ended after Mikami flattened Kurokage with a beautiful 450 splash. What a war this was. Not only did this serve as a great showcase of all four guys' individual talents, but the match itself was extremely well-structured and flowed at a great pace. It did everything it needed to do as a spotfest without ever devolving into just hitting spots, and the escalation was really well done. This felt like the type of match that would've rocked a compilation tape and blown the minds of a bunch of forum posters during the time period. I feel very comfortable giving this match the the A-range rating of a non-Onita match from this series.

Match Rating: A-

Different Style Fight: Nise Onita vs. Katsuji Ueda

    Almost two months ago, the Onita Pro faithful were introduced to the fraudulent Onita, Toshiyuki Moriya. He fought his heart out against a squadron of different style fighters, with his hero by his side, and he was defeated. Now, Nise Onita is back once more, this time on his own to fight one of the very fighters that defeated him previously. Can he even dream of standing against the might of Katsuji Ueda's boxing gloves? Only time (and this match) will tell...

    ... And he can't! He really can't at all. This is a slaughter. The footage is clipped to hell so maybe he got something in the match at some point, but he gets literally zero offense in the footage we have. All he does is die, die, die. I'd say something like "Ueda took the dog out behind the shed" but that would imply a quick and merciful death. Ueda repeatedly beats on Moriya until Moriya can't stand, throwing lots of punches, kicks, knees, elbows and anything else at the poor man. He unloads combo after combo into Moriya, and to Moriya's credit, he lasts until round three. Then Ueda throws an incredibly gross bicycle knee to Moriya's jaw, and that's the end of him.

    I can't even rate this. I'm sure if I really wanted to I could (Ueda threw mean strikes, Moriya's selling was alright), but it feels so weird to try and rate a match like this, not only considering just how little of it we have, but also what we do have. This wasn't a match. This was a sacrifice. 

Match Rating: (x_x)

Naohiro Hoshikawa & Super Delfin vs. Black Buffalo & Policeman

    I believe that I've noticed a trend. Every single Onita Pro match on this Onita Pro show has been either bizarre, awful, or both. Meanwhile, the only non-Onita Pro match so far was stellar. Hopefully that trend continues here as Osaka Pro throw their hat into the ring. 

    Admittedly, this is the match I was most excited to see coming into this tape, as I've already seen two Onita/Tenryu main events and I haven't checked out any early Osaka Pro in years. Plus, good friend of the blog CFOS just finished his entire watch-through of Osaka Pro (and wrote a nice piece on his findings from the journey which you can read here), and I've been getting bombarded with Osaka Pro information from him for the last few months. I love all four of these guys, so I'm excited to see what they do on Onita's grand stage.

    Wouldn't you know it, but my prediction at the start was correct! This is a fun little match, one that really played to each guy's strengths well.

    Delfin and Policeman are both somewhat interesting, but I don't have much to say about either of them. Policeman does fun spots involving being an officer of the law, and he also hits a nice quebrada. Policeman is one of those genuine "what could've been" scenarios based on his early FMW work under his real name of Yukihide Ueno (I have a friend that has pushed the idea of Ueno being the heir apparent to Onita himself during this time), but even though his career never really panned out as well as it should have, he still always did fun work like he did here. Delfin meanwhile hits a lot of the classics. He's always been a good foil for shooty juniors guys, both as a teammate (see Masaaki Mochizuki) and an opponent (see Takehiro Murahama), so he does a lot of fun tag work with Hoshikawa here. Outside of that, he's just a generally cool dude, and even hits the Osaka Midosuji Stunner, a move I have a great deal of love for since it was my Create-A-Wrestler's finisher for 5 or so years.

    Someone I do have a good amount to say about is Hoshikawa. He really felt perfect for Osaka Pro, and actually stood as a nice representative of where juniors wrestling was heading around this time. Hoshikawa was a perfect hybrid of both sides of the evolving juniors styles, pretty seamlessly mixing the more aerial risk-taking offense with very "jumping out of the screen" shoot-inspired work. Hoshikawa was never able to out-shoot Murahama, nor was he ever able to out-fly Yakushiji, but he was able to do things from both ends of the spectrum in just the right mixture that it worked out perfectly. All of that is to say he's pretty awesome here! He hits cool kicks really quickly and pulls out the meteor knee strike. Thank you for your service Naohiro Hoshikawa. 

    Black Buffalo is the fucking man. I love this bastard so much. I want to preface what I'm going to say next with a little tangent on the idea of "versatility." I'm kind of a critic on the versatility talking point when it comes to analyzing wrestlers' GWE cases, because I've noticed that a lot of people will put high value into guys just attempting other match styles rather than excelling at them. This isn't to say it's bad for wrestlers to be versatile! I may love the one-note workers of the world, but being able to do your job in a lot of different and equally interesting ways is incredibly impressive. Such is the case of Black Buffalo, also known as Keisuke Yamada. The fact that he could go from a scumlord IWA Japan bruiser to such a fun lucha fouler in a place like Osaka Pro is a testament to his abilities. He does so much great work here, moving at Delfin pace without a single slip-up and constantly targeting the balls of his opponents. He also throws in a lot of nice character work, like scraping his feet back like a charging buffalo for all the big running moves. I just can't help but applaud the guy any chance I get. He's someone who'll probably never get the flowers he deserves for the incredible work he did for at least a decade and a half.

    Delfin wins for his team with the Delfin Clutch after the aforementioned Osaka Midosuji Stunner. This wasn't better than the DDT tag, but it filled its role as a fun crowd-pleasing juniors tag with a lot of goofy character work mixed into some genuinely real good wrestling. I already know the Osaka Pro crew probably won't be appearing again anytime soon, but hopefully Delfin and Co. return to this journey through the Onita sphere of influence one day.

Match Rating: B

No Rope Barbed Wire Double Hell Barricade Street Fight Current Mine Explosion Death: Atsushi Onita, Mitsunobu Kikuzawa, Sambo Asako, & Sanshiro Takagi vs. Genichiro Tenryu, Hiroshi Ono, Ichiro Yaguchi, & Shoji Nakamaki

    Outside of this being the first super long Onita stipulation, I really don't have much to talk about. This matchup has been done twice already, and you probably know my thoughts on it by now. I will say though, Onita has made the first notably bad decision of the series by swapping out Okumura for Takagi. Takagi is a very fun wrestler who actually tends to do really well in these types of brawls, but Okumura has been the secret standout of the last two matches. I love Sambo Asako, but if you had to bring Takagi into this, why not get rid of him? Just put Asako in a fun lower card match and let Okumura run wild like he always does. It's disappointing, but I might as well trust Onita's vision on this one. He hasn't led me astray thus far.

    Ichiro Yaguchi makes his entrance coming out with a guitar, shredding on it to Tenryu's theme before flipping off the camera and sticking his tongue out a lot. Already a definite A-range match.

    This is probably the most fascinating Onita brawl yet, entirely because of how it plays on the formula established by the first two matches. The biggest change so far is, of course, the additions and limitations of the explosive environment. One of the vital aspects of the first two matches was the extensive crowd brawling, turning Korakuen Hall into a complete warzone with guys traveling all around the venue and throwing each other who knows where. In this new place though, that type of work really doesn't work. Onita and Tenryu spend a little bit of time fighting amongst the fans, but it's less them splitting the action in two and more the two captains leaving their soldiers to be the main attraction for a little bit. Otherwise, most of the match takes place in the ring, and a lot of the brawling is a lot slower because of this. Not worse per se, although definitely hampered by this more confined space. The guys still deliver the goods though, with Nakamaki and Takagi especially getting into a lot of very spirited exchanges (Nakamaki takes a bunch of unprotected chairshots and does the chicken walk after each one of them; it's very good).

    However, this new territory also brings about the incredible power of the explosion, something neither of the last two matches had any way of embracing. And my god, do they embrace the explosions here. There are at least ten different explosions in this 15 minute match, and the crowd goes wild for all of them. The previous Onita brawls were concerned with the gradual degradation of each wrestler, contests of endurance to see how much each side could take until one person cracked. This match completely flips that idea on its head, with wrestlers instead trying to avoid the one-shot killers surround the ring on all sides. There's this genuinely incredible moment early on, when Onita takes the first explosion bump and time just stands still. All the action in the ring just stops. Everyone ducks for cover and stares in awe at the mighty power of the boom. "If such flimsy wire could do that to a guy like Onita, what the hell could it do to me?"

    The way previous spots get adapted into this new world is equally interesting. Yaguchi and Nakamaki had set a precedent in the previous two matches with their double team suplex barbed wire hanging move, and they once again do the move in this match, with Takagi being the victim. However, the second that wire underneath Takagi's stomach explodes, there's a real feeling of dread that sets over. The last two times they did it, the move was a nice way to deal some big damage. This time, it feels like they might've actually killed the guy. I don't feel like I need to explain that explosions add gravity to a situation, but man, they really fucking do.

    Karma is a cruel beast. Yaguchi and Nakamaki go for another one of their signature spots later on, attempting to rip the wire from the ropes on one side to wrap a poor soul up in it. Their hubris, thinking they have any control over this environment, is their downfall, and the wire explodes in their faces. I think this one moment really does a great job of illustrating the real story of the match. This isn't about one team trying to overcome the other directly. This is about everyone trying to figure out how to cope with being surrounded by certain death. The winner is just the first team to do it.  

    Onita, of course, figures it out first. This is home turf. He and the rest of his boys fight back, and Kikuzawa even makes a noble sacrifice by getting knocked into the hell pit with Ono. Onita gets to Ono, his clothing ripped and charred from the explosion in the pit, and a Thunder Fire Powerbomb seals the deal. Onita leads the hundreds in attendance through an impassioned Onita Theatre (definitely the coolest one yet), and everyone goes home happy.

    To be entirely honest, this is my least favorite of the three Onita brawls so far. I know I just wrote a whole thesis on the power of the exploding barbed wire, but I truly just love a good old fashioned street fight, and the venue-spanning chaos of the first two matches just hits all the right buttons for me. Still, this is a great piece of work, and I had a ton of fun watching guys blow up. It's an Onita Pro main event brawl. Of course it's fucking good.

Match Rating: A-

    Theoretically, this should be my lowest rated show yet. The first two matches were pretty damn bad, and the Nise Onita squash was almost indescribable in terms of "quality." However, the peaks of this show were damn good. Even if the highest rating I gave was an A-, I gave two of those, which I didn't think would happen so soon, if ever at all. A very wide-ranging show in terms of quality, but I will always value great peaks over a consistent level of good.

Show Rating: B