(Written by jom)
What a long way we've come.
I don't think it would be much of an exaggeration to say that without FU*CK!, there would be no DRAGON SCREW blog. The day this post is made, Tsubasa Shiratori's fever dream of a wrestling promotion will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of their first show, and I thought it would only be appropriate to go back and see how it all began. There's a couple blog favorites, a few very notable names making appearances (even Sanshiro Takagi was here to watch the show), and a whole heaping of wacky, sleazy, absolutely ludicrous bullshit to be found. So sit back, relax, watch the DVD intro here, and join me on this journey into the big bang event of the greatest shindie ever.
Great Thunder vs. Masked Invader
Two masked guys I've never heard of starting us off here. Great Thunder came out with no music, wearing a generic purple mask and a JWP shirt for unknown reasons. Maybe he's a big fan of Command Bolshoi? The world will never know. Masked Invader, meanwhile, actually got to come out with an entrance theme, wearing a kinda cool red mask and black shorts.
The match started with an absolutely awful lock-up and an even worse headlock takeover by Thunder. Thunder then tried to apply a wristlock while Invader was on the ground and fell over. Invader responded by standing up and punt kicking Thunder 3 times. Then he pinned him. Then he won.
Thunder cut a promo afterwards where he said something about this being his first time wrestling in an actual ring. The show's theme song interrupted him three different times, as the sound guy kept thinking the promo was over when it wasn't. We then cut to backstage footage with Thunder unmasking, revealing himself to be referee The Mighty, before thanking the now-unmasked Masked Invader (it's Naoshi Sano) for the match.
I honestly don't even know what to say. Welcome to FU*CK!.
Rating:
UWF Rules: Space Killers vs. Parapara Kuma-san
Following... that, we've got a UWF rules match between two staples of the promotion's early years. Killers is a bonafide FU*CK! legend, once going 0-10 against Ultraman Robin in a 10 minute iron man match. He's also a trainee of Masanobu Kurisu! Truly, he has all the makings to be one of my favorite wrestlers ever. Parapara Kuma-san is also pretty legendary, just a big cartoonish bear who does a dance routine during his entrance and then kicks the shit out of people. Also, The Mighty is out to officiate the match. Kudos to him for recovering so quickly from the beating he had just taken.
Within 30 seconds of the match starting, Kuma shot a double leg takedown, and the second he was on top of Killers, Mighty started a pinfall count. At that moment, I knew I was going to witness something special.
There was so much going on here that I could talk about. Mighty was probably the most notable part of this match, as not only did he count that pinfall, he also ended the match almost immediately after when he saw Kuma had a good hold on Killers. Killers didn't give up, Mighty just decided to end the match. Kuma would have to lead the crowd into clapping along with his dance (shown below) to convince Mighty to start the match back up, and then Mighty counted a pinfall again, resulting in Kuma walking up to him like he was gonna kill him.
Space Killers was the quintessential FU*CK! worker in this match, throwing mostly awful strikes and having no real idea of how to do any of the holds he was attempting. It is worth mentioning though, I said "mostly" for a reason, because he took advantage of Kuma's big fucking mask by hitting some insane shoteis. My favorite moment of his in the match had to have been when he had Kuma on the ground and was holding both his legs, just standing there for about 20 seconds trying to decide on what hold to apply before going with one of the weirdest boston crabs I have ever seen. Truly, you could not ask for a better wrestler for the FU*CK! environment than Killers.
Parapara Kuma-san, meanwhile, blew my mind in this match. Underneath that yellow bear suit was a cold-blooded killer, constantly shooting for holds and applying them pretty damn well for a guy in a big bear costume. He was throwing some picturesque kicks too, and any time they connected they let out a real mean thud. Hell, he couldn't even be stopped on defense either, kipping up twice after being knocked down like Killers was doing nothing to hurt him. Killers just couldn't kill his stuffed animal-looking foe.
Until he did! Eventually, Killers got mount and threw some stomach punches before Kuma got the ropes. However, Kuma just didn't get up after that, and Mighty ended the match in favor of Killers after confirming with Kuma that he couldn't breathe anymore under the mask. An incredible end to an incredible match. The last time I saw a match with vibes similar to this was back when I reviewed Mambo Shintaro vs. Hideki Shioda. There were so many surreal moments in this match, moments that had me rewinding over and over to see them again and again. There's just something indescribably beautiful about wrestling like this. Watching this match felt like a religious experience. I know with certainty that I have witnessed God here, for he is a man in a yellow bear costume.
Rating: A+
Alien Guts vs. Dada 2000
Two of Ultraman Robin's greatest enemies meet in mortal combat in the next match on this show. Dada 2000 is a dude in a monkey mask who came out with slippers, attacking fans with them and making monkey noises. Alien Guts, meanwhile, is a dude in a bird mask who kept asking fans to shake his hand, and whenever they did he would be a big ole meanie and get booed for it. At one point he tried walking on top of the empty chairs in the crowd, and ended up falling down. We are doing very good in this match so far just from the entrances.
Sadly, the match itself never really fulfilled the bar set by the entrances. It started off well enough, with both Dada and Guts offering a handshake to the ref, leading to a double whip off the ropes into them completely avoiding him and locking up. After that though, this just never relented with the bits. It was a pure slapstick match, and I don't know man, comedy matches like that just don't do it for me like the absolute car crashes that you usually see on FU*CK! shows. There were a couple fun enough moments, like Guts going for a rope run and Dada tripping him, or Guts taking Dada's slippers and smashing them over his head, but it just felt like such a chore to get through compared to the masterpiece before it.
Dada 2000 ended up getting the victory here with a camel clutch using one of the slippers to choke Guts. This type of match would probably appeal to some people a lot more than it appealed to me, since I just can't stand a lot of comedy matches that are based on bits and gags like this. Still, the actual wrestling was alright and it never actually crossed into being offensively bad. Not the worst thing I've ever seen, but certainly not the best either.
Rating: C-
Riki Senshu vs. Kenji Fukimoto
Four matches in, and we've reached to the one serious match of the show! Fukimoto and Senshu are both Kurisu Gym trainees, and have been tied to each other for basically their whole careers. Both were J2000 guys from day one. Senshu was the one to unmask Fukimoto when he was "Flash Thunder Machine". They joined together to lead the exodus out of J2000, starting up their own promotion called J2K. No matter what one of them did, the other was sure to be right behind him. This was also a pretty important match for Senshu, as not only was this his return match after retiring on a J2K show in September the previous year, but it was also the debut of the Riki Senshu name, as, up to this point, he had been wrestling under his real name, Ryo Tamiyasu. By far, this was the match I was most excited for coming into this review, as these two have always done amazing work together. Hell, we've talked about their 2008 singles match on the blog already, and that's an indies MOTDC for me.
Fukimoto was pretty awesome as usual. These earlier Fukimoto matches have really been a revelation, as while I enjoy his more recent work as a dude in a rat mask or a weird death metal FREEDOMS brawler, Fukimoto in the 2000s was embracing Onita-ism and Muto-ism to great effect, putting on really compelling matches for the sleaziest of indies. He was in killer mode for this one, throwing some great potshots when he could like hitting a really nice flashing elbow and following it up with a wild dropkick to Senshu's face as he was rolling out of the ring. Speaking of the flashing elbow, his Muto-isms were practically perfect in this match, hitting multiple really beautiful shining wizards, to the point that he might be tied with Low Ki for best Keiji Muto impersonator. He raised the violence up even more as the match reached it's conclusion, smashing chairs over Senshu like their trainer and hitting a gross piledriver onto a bunch of chairs. My one major critique of him was a no-sell he did after a Senshu backdrop, but it led to a mean shining wizard and he didn't pretend like he was dead after doing it, so it could've been a lot worse.
Senshu, wouldn't you know it, was even fucking better than Fukimoto! Another revelation of the last few massive tape purchases, Senshu has really quickly become one of my favorite guys in the 21st century of sleaze indies, being completely committed to doing Choshu-ism while also having the grit and hate you would expect from a Kurisu trainee. He was dropping bombs left and right here, smashing Fukimoto's face in with punches and kicks while trying to break his neck with some massive backdrops. He also got to showcase his incredible technique as a wrestler, like locking in a perfect figure four necklock or busting out a beautiful flying headscissors. And of course, Senshu absolutely decimated Fukimoto with some monstrous Riki Lariats. He always puts so much force into the swing, really throwing it like he's trying to send his opponent's head flying, and with Fukimoto, he nearly did just that.
In the end, Senshu got the advantage, sending Fukimoto spiraling out of control with a final Riki Lariat before locking in the Sasori Gatame to get the tapout victory. This was a real asskicker of a match, with two dudes not afraid to throw stiff strikes and drop each other on their heads for the love of the game. I think that the things holding this back from greatness are the no-sell by Fukimoto and the condensed nature of the match, as the final runtime for it ended up being less than 8 minutes. It was a match more dedicated to dropping bombs than having a larger story or smooth escalation like their incredible match five years later would have. Still, two guys just beating the tar out of each other will never be a negative to me.
Rating: B+
Big Suka & Giant Ra vs. Jackie Lynn & Pedro Takaishi
In the semi-main of the show, we've got team TAMA taking on team... big? I'll be totally honest, I have zero clue who Big Suka and Giant Ra are. Both are in completely white attire, with one having a white sheet draped over him and the other carrying around an antenna. Neither of them are particularly tall either, so I'm slightly upset at this egregious false advertising. I do know Lynn and Takaishi though, as both were regulars for the aforementioned TAMA group run by Kancho Nagase. Lynn is someone I've never seen before outside of pictures, but he's got a cool drunken kung fu gimmick, so he seems like my type of wrestler. Takaishi is someone I have seen though, and he's a blast to watch every time, working like a capoeira version of Kazuhiko Ogasawara. Also, just a fun fact, Jackie Lynn is actually directly responsible for Munenori Sawa's entry into pro wrestling! Sawa was fighting on an MMA show that Lynn was working as a referee for, and Lynn invited Sawa to wrestle for TAMA based on his MMA performance and his background training in amateur wrestling at the Battlarts B-CLUB. Another fun fact, Sawa would make his debut as a pro wrestler on a TAMA show against none other than Pedro Takaishi. So, in a way, Big Sky and Giant Law are taking on Team Munenori Sawa, and I just think that's kinda neat.
Team Munenori Sawa really delivered here. Pedro was cool like he usually is, doing sick capoeira kicks as well as some really awesome leg sweeps. Match highlight for him was definitely the corner abisegeri he hit where he slid on his forehead towards one of his opponents. That kick always pops me really hard, and it was cool to see him do it here. Jackie Lynn was the real star of this match though. He was entirely committed to the whole drunken fighter gimmick, constantly taking sips from his bottle of sake and stumbling around the ring but consistently pulling off these awesome lightning-fast strikes or falling into a crazy hold. He threw a brutal spinning backfist into an abisegeri at one point, and also did this incredible lackadaisical roll into a tight ankle lock. I absolutely need to try and seek out more Jackie Lynn matches going forward.
Big Suka and Giant Ra, meanwhile, were... something alright. I really don't know what to say about them. One of them was seemingly a pretty talented wrestler, moving around on the mat well and hitting a good dropkick, but neither of them really did anything super notable in the ring. I will say, the gimmick of the antenna being their power source, and therefore to gain power one of them has to stand on the top rope holding it up, is really goofy in a good way. It led to a couple good moments of Lynn or Pedro cutting them off by just shoving the non-legal man off the top rope.
The finish to the match was a good way to wrap up the aforementioned story with the antenna, as Suka and Ra went for a double team attack on Lynn but Pedro leg dropped the antenna, resulting in them immediately falling over dead and Lynn covering both for the win. I think this had some fun stuff going on within it for sure, but good lord did it feel long. It went a little over 11 minutes, but those 11 minutes felt like a lifetime. Enjoyable overall, but it could've been done better. Also, I still have no clue what the deal with the white sheet was. I guess we'll never know.
Rating: B-
Ultraman Robin, Ken Kato, Kento Okumura, & White Mask vs. Space Killers, Naoshi Sano, Bungee Takada, & Tetsuhiro Kuroda
With a show as legendary as this, the only way you can end it is with a big star-studded tag match. That's what we've got here, with team SGP taking on the indie all-stars in a 4v4 match. However, it didn't start as this, as originally, this was booked as Robin/Kato/Okumura vs. Takada/Sano/Kuroda. However, after everyone had made their entrances, Space Killers came out, yelling at Robin and taking a bunch of papers into the ring. He then cut into the folded up papers to make art like you'd do in elementary school, including making an Ultraman cutout and then RIPPING THE HEAD OFF!!! Team SGP take great offense to this and call in their trusted ally White Mask from the SGP merch table. However, Killers does not want to face White Mask. He wants to face... GENTARO! The camera immediately pans over to show GENTARO in the audience, laughing his fucking ass off at Space Killers calling him out, before getting up and walking into the ring to confront Killers. Killers throws one punch to the stomach and GENTARO is sent flying! GENTARO gives him a good pep talk and finally our match starts.
God, this was the perfect way to end the show. There was so much fun stuff going on here, just a total blast of a tag match. The basic premise of it was that Space Killers cannot wrestle, so his team decided to try and coach him to greatness. However, they, along with the other team, also just kinda wanna see him suffer cause its really funny. Team SGP were really awesome here not only victimizing Killers but just being a real force to be reckoned with. White Mask didn't get to do a ton but he threw some mean chops and hit an incredible dropkick on Killers. Kato was a house of fire brawling with Takada for the whole match, throwing all his strikes with some real oomph and refusing to back down in the face of superior firepower. Kento Okumura (the future KENT) was probably the best of the whole crew in terms of talent, doing tons of really awesome juniors stuff like hitting a real mean jumping thrust kick on Kuroda and a sick dropkick to the back of Takada's head. He also had a few moments of going wild, like getting pissed at some of the headbutts Killers threw and dragging him to the middle of the ring for a giant swing that would make Otsuka proud. However, Ultraman Robin was by far the highlight, just because of how mean he was. He was on a mission to jabroni Space Killers, and he really did it by just hoofing him around the ring like it was nothing and eating his strikes as casually as possible. At one point he locked in a really mean stepover toehold fujiwara armbar, and the whole time he had it in he was posing for the camera. Just some real bully shit from a protector of justice.
The indie all-stars absolutely held up their own end of the match. Bungee Takada was a beast here in his brawling with Kato, throwing extremely gross kicks like one that connected right with Kato's jaw, and had some cool moments outside of his fighting with Kato like hitting a hard sit-out powerbomb on Okumura. Sano was also fun here, being a pretty devious son of a bitch hitting tons of little punches and kicks to the balls, while also busting out some of his usual awesome stuff like the uppercut shotei. Kuroda was fully into hitting his spots like usual but I usually enjoy Kuroda spots so I'm not complaining. Plus, he was fucking dying the whole match at everything Killers did and that was very fun to watch. Finally, Space Killers. The legend himself. He was the lifeblood of this match. He was the eternal victim of both team SGP and the indie all-stars meant to be his partners. At one point, he tried to escape the torture of Ultraman Robin by tagging out, leading to his whole team jumping off the apron and telling him to fight on. And man, he fought his fucking heart out. The few times he got to take control it was something to behold, with Killers throwing lots of wild strikes in the hopes of even causing the littlest amount of damage to his opponents. His moments of power were few and far between, but by god, Killers dealing even the littlest damage felt like David slaying Goliath.
After about 20 minutes of genuinely really enjoyable action, Kuroda took the win for his team with a huge lariat on Okumura. I had so much fun watching this match. Killers being the ultimate babyface in peril was so evil yet so awesome, and everyone in the match got their own moments to prove why they belonged there. Plus, even after the match, the victimizing didn't stop, with team SGP continuing to stomp Killers out and Kato and Okumura throwing water bottles at Killers during his whole post-match promo. What a way to cap off such a great show, and what a way to introduce the world to FU*CK!.
Rating: B+
If you've made it to the end, thank you so much for reading. I usually don't put stuff like this in my posts, but this show is potentially one of the most important for the formation of the blog. FU*CK! has consistently been the promotion I most enjoy watching, and has exposed me to so many guys from the Kansai scene I now love, like Riki Senshu, Kenji Fukimoto, Takuya Fujiwara/Perseus Jr., Hideaki Sumi, and so many more. So, Tsubasa Shiratori, if you somehow read this, thank you so much for bringing FU*CK! into the world, thank you so much for making these shows readily available through your web shop (link to it here, check it out for hundreds of amazing Kansai indie shows), and really, thank you so much for everything you've done for pro wrestling. Without FU*CK!, I would be a very different man, watching very different (and much worse) wrestling. Thanks again for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment