(Written by jom)
Yuusha Amon & Kunihiko Mitamega vs. Kira*Ann & Dark Ranger
Starting us off is team Wallabee vs. team... something! I talked about Mitamega on the last review I did, and I'm pretty excited to watch him again after such a good performance on the WGWF show, especially since at this point he's become a part-time member of Wallabee. I've yet to talk about Yuusha Amon though, who's another Wallabee roster member and from the small amount of work I've seen so far is pretty damn good. He's also booked Minoru Suzuki and Negro Navarro on his Tokyo Tama Luchas shows, which is just so insane that I have to mention it. On the other side of the ring is Kira*Ann and Dark Ranger, two people I've never seen before. Just from the entrances, Ann isn't very notable but Ranger (not to be confused with Miracle Man who also went by Dark Ranger) is wearing a scream mask and has tights that just completely show his dick and balls, so that's certainly something.
When looking back at my notes, I feel like I must share this section: "Amon horrifically botched an arm twist; Ranger is god awful; Ann just did one of the worst botches I have ever seen; RANGER WILL NOT STOP YELLING; oh my god this is horrible". This was a rough match to get through. Probably the worst wrestler in the match was Kira*Ann, who unlike everyone else had genuinely not a single good moment. Everything she did was sloppy and uncoordinated, especially the arm drag(?) attempt that led to the comment above. Ranger wasn't much better, working a slow motion lucha sequence against Amon and doing this incessant high pitched yelling that stopped being funny very fast. The one "good" moment of his was a giant swing, but if I was willing to let that redeem someone I'd be less angry at Otoko Sakari matches.
Mitamega and Amon were both okay, but neither seemed interested in working hard and they did next to nothing of note. Mitamega blocked a low blow with a ladle at one point (kinda, he didn't get into position at time but I don't fucking care enough to make it an issue) and the guy hosting the show got on the mic and laughed at it, and then later Amon hit a genuinely good backdrop suplex. Other than those two spots, their contributions were absolutely nothing.
Truly, I cannot get across just how bad this match was. When I reviewed Hideki Shioda vs. Mambo Shintaro, I called it one of the worst matches I had ever seen, before giving it an A+. The reason behind that choice was that it felt so horrible, so monumentally bad, that it wrapped around to being amazing. It was a match that truly came to benefit from how terrible it was, turning into one of the most enjoyable natural disasters I have ever seen take place in a wrestling ring. This match didn't reach that point. It may have gotten close, but it never crossed the barrier from being "bad" to "hilariously bad".
It also lacked any surreal moments to bring it to the level of Shinigami Shuucho vs. JET Shinomura, or Magnum Oedo & X vs. Koryuki & X. Those matches possessed a key moment that took it from being meh or bad to an insane viewing experience. Once again, this was not the case for this match. There was no intrusion from Koriki Senshu. There was no surprise gorilla. There was the ladle spot, but not only was it less interesting than those two examples, but it was also of little consequence for the rest of the match. There was only Dark Ranger and Kira*Ann, and those two are not Koriki Senshu or the surprise gorilla. In the end, this was never so bad it was good, nor was it truly memorable in any way. The only thing saving this match from an even lower rating was Amon's great backdrop suplex, and even then that can only do so much. A match that, truly, was lacking in anything of worth.
Rating: D
Kancho Nagase vs. Survival Tobita
After seeing some of the worst the indy scene has to offer, we're following it up with a match that has a ton of promise for weirdos like me that love the sleaze scene. Nagase and Tobita are both legends of this weird shindie circuit in Japan, coming up in PWC and both doing well in their respective crafts for years since then. This is somehow the first time they've ever met in the ring according to different wrestling results sites (outside of a battle royale from DDT in 2000). I'm sure they've met at least 3 times in the past for shows that would never appear on these sites, but at bare minimum I've never seen them meet in the ring before, so I was excited to see it happen.
And luckily, this ended up being pretty fun! Considering both guys, there was of course some of the expected roughness, but what they did here is what is what I would call spiritually correct pro-wrestling. The whole basis for this match was that Nagase is smaller than Tobita but also a hard-hitting karateka, and Tobita is a big monster who manhandles Nagase with brute force and headbutts. Nagase was pretty awesome here throwing sick chest punches and cool kicks, including his always great diving dropkick. He also did this amazing counter into his signature sleeper hold seen below, and as a whole was able to utilize his size and personal strengths to their full potential. The only criticism I have for him is that his rope rebounds are some of the worst I've seen, but considering he's a karateka, I can mostly forgive that.
Meanwhile, Tobita was a real bastard this time around, almost coming off as one of the monsters he took on in the 90s. He tanked so many stiff shots from Nagase, responding with clubbing blows and mean headbutts, as well as some hard slams. Other highlights include a crazy jumping stomp he hit right to Nagase's neck, and his trademark piledriver (seen below). Genuinely, Tobita's piledriver might be my favorite one ever, as he always hits it with such a gross landing.
Sadly, this did have a kinda strange and abrupt DQ finish, which, while I understood the idea behind it, I definitely wasn't a big fan of it. Even considering that and the general roughness of the match though, I still thought this was a lot of fun. Both guys played their roles really well and they told a story that was easy to understand and get into. Leave it to two sleaze indy veterans to pull me right back into this show after such a bad opener.
Rating: B
Ultra Seven vs. Ultraman Robin
Following up a match between two sleaze workers, here we have a battle of Ultramen! I've talked Robin before, with Robin constantly surprising me by how enjoyable his matches are compared to the reputation he's always had among western fans. We haven't yet talked about Ultra Seven though, but we have talked about Masahiko Takasugi, a wrestler with striking similarities to the larger Ultraman in this match. Someone should probably look into that.
While this was a fight between Ultramen, I wouldn't go as far as to call it an Ultramatch (I am not proud of myself for that one). Both guys were sloppy and slow, and combining that with the grappling-heavy action led to kind of a bore. Seven was alright in this one, doing some work on Robin's leg that certainly wasn't horrible. He also hit one hip attack onto a seated Robin's neck which was actually kinda cool, and did some fun dumb spots involving getting the ref beat up (referee Pink Tiger got beat up bad enough to result in referee Batten Tamagawa coming in to take his place, only for Tamagawa to get beaten up to leading to Tiger taking over the referee job once again).
Robin was pretty much working at the same level as Seven was here. A lot of his grappling was kinda meh, but he did have one or two cool moments, like the solid counter from a chinlock into a Fujiwara armbar seen below. Probably the coolest thing he did overall was his diving crossbody which, while not great, was one of the best ones I've seen him hit. He wasn't all positive of course (at one point he tried to do a shoulder tackle exchange or something and it just completely fell apart, resulting in him and Seven just staring at each other for a couple seconds), but it wasn't like he was horrible either.
In the end, this match also ended in a fuck finish (stemming from all that referee assault I mentioned in the section about Seven's part in the match), but I was more okay with this one than the one from Nagase/Tobita. Overall, this wasn't anything offensive and did have a couple solid moments, but overall was just kinda boring and not worth checking out. The novelty of booking the two Ultraman guys against each other was a fun concept, and honestly if this had happened in the late 90s it could've been genuinely pretty fun, but it was never going to be good in 2013.
Rating: C
Umanosuke Ueda 2 vs. Stungun Takemura
First we had a battle of sleaze legends, then we had a battle of Ultramen, and now, our next mirror match is a battle of mad brawlers. Stungun Takemura is a dude who seemingly loves Tiger Jeet Singh, coming out with the fencing sabre and completely addicted to sticking his tongue out Fiend-style at any point he can. Meanwhile, Umanosuke Ueda 2 (aka VINNI) is the official successor to the legendary Umanosuke Ueda, looking like a near perfect mirror image of the original blonde brawler.
Now, I was prepared for disappointment. I have friends that have seen Takemura matches before and have said he's godawful, and I came into this somewhat expecting a mid-level match at best. To my pleasant surprise, not only was this good, but it was the best match on the show up to this point and it's not even close. Ueda was extremely solid in the ring as a flat-out wrestler here, moving with a nice crispness and commitment that a lot of wrestlers nowadays don't possess. In terms of his brawling though, he was pretty awesome beating up Takemura with some hard chest chops and mean shots with a kendo stick. He was super aggressive and really took it to Takemura at ever point. He even included some nice bigger bombs in his arsenal, particularly this great doctor bomb:
Takemura was not being carried in this match though. He more than held up his side of the match, matching Ueda's aggression with some real devious shit. Very early into the match Takemura was already going crazy on Ueda with these truly gross throat stabs using a fork. He was able to do them so well and so quickly, and Ueda sold them perfectly, coughing up like hell and gasping for air after each one. Takemura's work with the sabre was great too, jabbing at Ueda's head and really twisting it into his wound, causing Ueda to bleed pretty hard as the match went on. Hell, he even had a killer fireball spot, using one to break up Ueda's doctor bomb. My favorite spot from this whole match though was the one shown below, where Ueda started to choke Takemura and Takemura, through sheer force of will, started to choke Ueda too, leading to them rolling out of the ring while choking each other. It's just that type of vindictive, cruel violence that really makes me remember why I'm so huge on brawlers like these.
Throughout the match, both guys teased at multiple points getting counted out, whether by themselves or together. I bit on pretty much every tease they did considering the multiple cheap finishes seen prior on the show, and when this match eventually did end via count-out I genuinely felt like it was entirely earned. This was a genuinely awesome brawl with both guys coming out looking like total killers, and I've now come to doubt the tastes of my peers. Wrestling doesn't need to be smooth or clean or deeply layered. Sometimes, all you need is two guys willing to be mean as hell to each other, and that's exactly what we got here.
Rating: B+
Kazushi Miyamoto vs. Keizo Matsuda
We've had three matches between similar characters so far, and to finish that theme off, we're going into real hoss territory. Kazushi Miyamoto is one of my favorite wrestlers, a former All Japan guy who traded in his set future as a top star there to become a real shitkicker on the indies with Tenryuist tendencies and a love for Scott Steiner. You're likely to see him bust out the punch/chop combo and a Steiner Screwdriver in the same match, and is there much else you can ask for? Matsuda meanwhile is another guy I'm pretty high on, starting in IWA Japan and remaining their ace for years. He's got a hard spinebuster and a mean lariat, and once again, what else could you want? This match alone is what first got me interested in buying this show, so to say I was a little excited to watch it would be an understatement.
Wouldn't you know it, this ended up going pretty much exactly as expected. If you've seen the clip of Big E yelling "BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPING MEAT", that is this match through and through. Miyamoto was awesome as usual in this one, blasting Matsuda with these absolutely thunderous chops, creating those awesome clouds of sweat with each one. He was able to hit some of his classics too, like a great superkick, a huge backdrop suplex, and a real hard brainbuster. Of course, probably the best moves he hit all match were his lariats, including this brutal one which looked like it knocked the soul out of Matsuda:
However, I ended up walking away from this even more impressed by Matsuda, as he was really damn great here. He was able to return fire with some brutal chops of his own, as well as hitting a few mean shoulder tackles. His power moves ruled too, pulling off a great sidewalk slam as well as somehow doing a DELAYED SUPLEX, which can be seen below. I cannot stress enough just how impressive it is that Matsuda was able to hold up such a big man like Miyamoto for so long. He even was able to respond to Miyamoto's lariats with a few awesome ones of his own. Really, Matsuda's performance here was amazing to see.
Just like the last match, this was pretty basic compared to other matches, but it thrived through the basics that it concentrated on. Matsuda and Miyamoto beat each other up like nobody's business, and a real hoss fight like this was a great way to follow up the wild brawl before it.
Rating: B+
Super Delfin vs. Konaka = Pehlwan vs. Naoshi Sano
We're ending this show with a truly stacked triple threat. I've talked about Konaka multiple times before, but it's been a good while since Sano has popped up on the blog (last appearing on the previous produce show I covered), and it's nice to see him back. Delfin really doesn't need an introduction, as he's a legendary juniors wrestler and widely regarded for his work both in the ring and as a promoter with Osaka Pro. Really, you could only end a show like this with a match with stars like these.
While this ended up being a clear step down from the last two matches, it was still a lot of fun! The first half of this match was all about how Delfin and Konaka just didn't feel like dealing with Sano, actively ignoring him to work their own match and eventually telling him to leave because he kept interrupting them in an attempt to get in on the action. Sano is genuinely hilarious here, trying to creep his way into sequences like joining the ending standoff after having watched Konaka and Delfin work a whole exchange, and when he gets told to leave I genuinely cracked up pretty hard. Once Sano forces himself into the match and starts to work his own spots this turns into more of a traditional match, but really, I do have to commend everyone involved (especially Sano) for such a fun opening half.
In terms of the actual work here, everyone did pretty well. Sano wasn't able to do much overall but he did pull out some cool stuff like some nice Texas-style punches, as well as a damn good dropkick. Konaka was also able to do some of his usual sweet spots, like his awesome throat thrusts as well as a crazy cross-legged diving senton. I love all of Konaka's cross-legged moves, but that really might be my favorite off them all. Delfin was definitely the best guy in terms of actual in-ring work (shocking, I know), hitting the classics like a stiff shotei and the slap into tornado DDT seen below. All three guys were only able to pop off a couple moves each, but they made the most of it.
In the end, this match only went about 7 minutes long, but still ended up being really enjoyable. The two matches before it were absolutely better as individual matches, but this was definitely the best way to wrap up the show, ending it on a real high note.
Rating: B
