Spitball Reviews #8

           (Written by jom)

Greed & Higuchi vs. Big Joe & Yuki Toshima (SED 11/21/2010)

    Another Spitball, another Greed match. I told you we'd be talking about him again! SED is here in a random gymnasium with the world's largest inflatable dinosaur in the background. I respect SED for making sure this show is accessible to all, even those of us who are 25 feet tall and made of PVC. This time around, Greed's in a tag with regular partner Higuchi, who looks like Greed's childhood friend that has tried to kind of clean up his act as he's grown up. He's not entirely out of the hoodlum mindset, but he's just trying to be presentable in job interviews. Yuki Toshima looks like any average indie guy in the US from 2006 to 2008, but Big Joe is anything but average. He's BIG. No false advertising here, this guy is at least a foot taller than everyone else in the ring. And wouldn't you know it, Greed delivers once again! This is a fun little tag match with lots of cool moments, mostly courtesy of Greed. He's really in the zone here with his shitheadedness, starting the match by going at Joe's eyes and never really letting up on his fouling and general misbehavior. He gets Higuchi involved and Higuchi always plays his part well, albeit he really only goes for heel stuff when Greed tells him to. Really, Higuchi and Toshima (who I exclusively called "red pants" in my notes) only exist to do solid enough juniors wrestling. Big Joe is the other star of the match for sure, throwing Greed around like a sack of shit and living up to his role as a big fucker. His interactions with Higuchi are pretty good as well, culminating in him letting loose with Vader hammers and a huge Amaze Impact. Really though, this is the Greed show for me. He's just so wonderful peppering in nasty kicks and stomps, like how he breaks up a crab done by Big Joe by just kicking him in the back of the head. Greed would've been wonderful working in actual pro feds, ideally as a midcard fouler in Z1 or BJW around this time. Even if we never got that, I'm happy to keep going through all the Greed footage going forward. Fun stuff all around, recommend checking it out just to see Greed, Big Joe, and the even bigger dinosaur. 

Match Rating: B

Masao Ando vs. Yuji Yoshida (Bukotsu 09/25/2016)

    Now this is that indie shit we all know and love. Two lumpy divorcees wearing bikers and kickpads laying into each other with unrelenting violence for a somewhat apathetic crowd in a small rec center in Osaka. If you had asked me about three years ago, I would probably call this a pure distillation of jomcore; my tastes have changed a lot since then, but this type of wrestling does still hold a precious place in my heart. This match does a lot to remind me of why I loved these kinds of matchups so much, working out to be the world's grimiest dick measuring contest. It's filled with full-force elbows to the nose and kicks to the jaw, along with crushing suplexes aplenty. It's also as much an auditory experience as it is a visual one: every strike has either a slap that reverberates around the room, or a thud that smashes through your soul. There's a ton of roughness in everything these guys do, with lots of moves being centimeters away from disaster. There's one moment in particular where Ando hoists up Yoshida for a waterwheel drop, and Yoshida, having seemingly never even heard of a waterwheel, doesn't even try to protect himself and nearly gets spiked on the top of his head. I've talked about it here before, but this kind of dangerous sloppiness does a lot to add to the match. The work doesn't feel clean, safe, or pre-planned, which is exactly how a brawl should feel. There are some attempts at through-lines in this match, specifically Masao Ando's attempts to apply some sort of armwork to Yoshida as things progress, but none of that really matters in any way. I respect Ando's attempts at giving this match some sort of story besides caveman MMA, but sometimes you don't need wrestling with any real brains behind it. The only brains in this match are the ones getting pinball'd around inside the skulls of these two men. The only thing that hampers this match is Yoshida's tendency to just stand around for extended periods while in control, but other than that, this is a real kickass match for people that like seeing asses kicked.

Match Rating: B+

Takahiro Tababa vs. Tatsuhito Takaiwa (IMPACT 05/04/2018)

    A pretty big match for Tababa, getting the chance to face the guy who beat his ass in his debut match three years ago. It's his opportunity to show how much he's grown in the relatively short amount of time he's been a professional wrestler. Takaiwa, however, comes into this match with an entirely different mindset. Honestly, he seems to work this match as an attempt to undo the past and force Tababa out of wrestling. The way Takaiwa grapples with Tababa reminds me of the old tales of veteran workers in the 70s and 80s pulling hopeful trainees into the ring and stretching them half to death until they quit, leaving their dreams and money behind. He pulls off a ton of sugar holds and keeps searching for ways to grind down Tababa, like turning a grounded half nelson into the world's most painful crucifix. It's genuinely very stunning to see Takaiwa work like this; the guy's always had a mean streak to him, but it usually only manifested in particularly impactful bombs or even more punch behind his hits. All of that is still present here, but it's the way he rips apart Tababa on the mat that makes this stand out as one of his meanest performances ever. Tababa's eventual comebacks all land real well (it certainly helps that most of them are based around him kicking the hell out of Takaiwa), and he does a good job of milking his hope spots for all they're worth. His bombs also work out great, especially everything surrounding his holds. The moment where Takaiwa counters a Fujiwara armbar by sidewalk slamming him only for Tababa to maintain the hold really stands out as great endurance storytelling and makes Tababa look like a total badass. Wrap it all up nicely with a bow made of some truly spectacular late-match bombs and you've got yourself a damn good match. Hopefully there's more "burn your boots" Takaiwa performances out there.

Match Rating: B

Ryan Upin vs. Masked Mystery (GUTS World 02/15/2011)

    Ryan Upin is probably better known as Chon Shiryu, who I've somehow never talked about on the blog?? Absolute blasphemy on my part. If you've ever seen me talk about him elsewhere you probably already know this, but I really love Chon Shiryu. He's one of the only guys in the world doing kung fu pro wrestling, and his level of consistency is pretty mindblowing. He almost has the Thanomsak Toba condition, where, even when put in matches featuring complete shitters, you can always count on him to at least deliver the goods. Luckily, Masked Mystery is nowhere near a shitter, so this ends up being a total blast. Mystery is a somewhat conventional big man worker who has very good technique and clearly knows how to work a short match, which works perfectly with the smaller and more exciting Shiryu. They work this like a pretty high level TV match, streamlining everything to give you as many cool moments as possible all while keeping the action flowing at the right pace. There's tons of little moments interspersed between the cool big spots, like Mystery keeping one leg away from Shiryu's grasp while Shiryu goes for a gory special, so Shiryu just dumps Mystery onto the ropes with the half-applied move. But really, we're here for the big kung fu moments, and Shiryu gives us plenty with suicide flying kicks and springboard kung fu stomps. I think this match is probably one of the stronger testaments to one of the best aspects of Chon Shiryu. Even while working one of the more bizarre and unique characters in the Japanese scene, Shiryu actually feels like one of the most cohesive workers in the entire world. There are a lot of guys nowadays that have "but also"'s tacked onto their character descriptions. A big man that does power moves BUT ALSO dives and flips. A high flyer that can hit spectacular flips and twists BUT ALSO big powerbombs and every other move in the book. Chon Shiryu lacks a "but also" in his character description because everything he does feels so fitting for him. The kung fu, the gory special variations, even the way he'll grapple all work towards supporting this character of pro wrestling's one true kung fu master. In the end, this match barely clocks in at six minutes, and it's a damn fun six minutes at that. The only reason it doesn't go into the A-range is because this felt like it needed a better environment than a small dojo (ideally an actual TV studio with a more vocal crowd). I patiently await the day that a promotion finally opens its eyes and signs Shiryu to work compact TV matches on a regular basis.

Match Rating: B+

Isami vs. Phantom Funakoshi (IWA Kokusai 06/12/2005)

    I'm fairly certain this was uploaded by Goro Tsurumi's son. Thank you Goro Jr! I love Kokusai a lot for its bizarre monster matches and crazy arena brawls, but it did always feature some great indie junior heavy guys, both fresh in the scene and old but underappreciated. Isami is the new kid on the block after absconding from K-DOJO and transforming from a Takadist shooter into a scummy yankee, while Funakoshi has been around for years as a Showa-era wrestling idolizer. It's a bizarre pairing, but one that could have a lot of potential by virtue of the two being great wrestlers. Emphasis on could. I'm sure they've had a very good match together. They've faced off multiple times, and at least one of those times has given us a very good match. This is not that time. This is less of a wrestling match and more of a wrestling experiment, a public survey to see if certain angles can go off well. This starts with one of the most bizarre wrestling angles I've seen in a long time, where Funakoshi takes a rolling solebutt 30 seconds into the match that stops him dead in his tracks. He's stunlocked so long that Isami has time to do the full Sweet Chin Music charge-up and still hit the move, all while Funakoshi is just standing there bent over like he just knocked back a pack of original Four Loko's. This leads to Funakoshi being so knocked out that Isami has to abandon a suicide dive spot (?) and go out to try and wake him up (??), only for Funakoshi to wake up and start being incredibly aggressive. I genuinely cannot tell if this is meant to be some bizarre worked shoot injury angle or some sort of concussion work or anything. It's borderline nonsensical, something you can only vaguely interpret. The actual match that follows is... fine I guess? Funakoshi does some alright bullying and armwork, and there's a cool enough spot where Isami takes too long getting back into the ring after a corner knee sends him flying out that Funakoshi pretty easily dodges his returning superkick and dumps him on his head with a suplex. There's just too many whiffs and botches and weird angles to really even process what's going on half the time. The match goes to a "15 minute time limit draw" when the actual runtime was barely 12 minutes, only to then be restarted and continue with the weird botches and vacant atmosphere (there were barely 15 people in the building but you could've told me they were all cardboard cutouts with how this match appeared). To be clear, this isn't irredeemable wrestling: Isami and Funakoshi do enough cool stuff to warrant some commendation. That being said, this match is bad. I still don't understand why half of it happened. I respect the attempt at experimentation, and Kokusai is one of the few places you could really try to do stuff like this, but this was a complete flop.

Match Rating: D+

Spitball Reviews #6

         (Written by jom)

Masao Ando vs. Takahiro Tababa (Mutoha 04/20/2019)

    A matchup that's happened so much, the fans in Japan gave it a nickname! "Aka Oni v Ao Oni", or red demon (Tababa) versus blue demon (Ando). Pretty fitting name in my honest opinion. Ando and Tababa are two of the best tubby crowbars in a modern Japanese indie scene shockingly filled with quality tubby crowbars. With how the industry in general has progressed, you'd think that type of wrestler would be a dying breed, but there's inexplicably more of them around than anyone knows what to do with. These two are given ten minutes to beat the tar out of each other in front of a small Mutoha crowd, and there are very few people more qualified for that type of environment than Ando and Tababa. Even if I've referred to them both as crowbars and demons, they're not the exact same wrestlers, and the little changes in execution between the two are really where this rivalry shines. Ando is an incredibly labored wrestler. Everything he does feels heavy and strained, every kick taking so much power from Ando that it causes his whole body to move with his leg. A universal human experience is every person's first time swinging a large stick. We've felt our own bodies move almost involuntarily, rotating with as much force as possible to send that stick to high heaven. Masao Ando has large sticks for limbs, and he's doing his damndest to swing them directly into the head of Tababa. On the opposite end, Tababa is a precision fighter. Every strike lands with all of the force focused on the sharpest point. When he kicks, the point of his boot is what connects with Ando's ribs. When he knees, the kneecap is what flies into Ando's gut. This isn't an exact summation of his striking, but it's clear that's what his intent is. Ando is full force everything, and Tababa is concentrated power. Beyond all of that pontificating, this is just a great brawl of a shoot style match. Ando slams Tababa hard multiple times throughout the match and nearly breaks his neck with a german suplex, and Tababa's unrelenting with his hyperextending holds and kick flurries. With many matches, the action builds until it boils over and turns into something uncontrollable. This match exists in a state of being boiled over from bell to bell. An amazing display of how awesome wrestling can be when two guys really work like they want to kick each other's asses. 

Match Rating: A-

Ryo Tamiyasu vs. Junpuku Yamamoto (J2K 09/23/2003)

    Ryo Tamiyasu makes his official return to pro wrestling. I've actually covered his initial return as Riki Senshu on the blog before (in one of my favorite posts from last year), but the name "Ryo Tamiyasu" hadn't been listed on a matchcard since his retirement until now, so there's the official part of it. Any time I watch work involving the J2K guys, I'm always fascinated by the commonalities of their work - the little touches that link all of them back to Masanobu Kurisu. Tamiyasu and Yamamoto are two of the strongest examples when it comes to Kurisu's influence on his trainees. Both love to vocalize. Both have the execution of basics down pat, and aren't afraid to rely on those basics instead of pushing themselves to "innovate" or needlessly change their offense up. Both turn up the heat by introducing more force into their movements. As such, this match is the tightly-worked, hard-hitting affair that I tend to love. It clocks in at just under ten minutes but manages to properly tell the story of a high stakes main event without feeling rushed or forced. Tamiyasu's punches and Yamamoto's uppercuts regularly have audible connection, and an exclamation point is placed at the end of every movement with both men's yelling and shit-talking. Looking beyond all the smaller detail work and connections to Kurisu, both are just so awesome at throwing bombs, especially in a match where the bomb-throwing is built so well considering how little time they use to build it. Yamamoto's piledrivers are disgusting and reckless in the best way, and Tamiyasu's out-of-nowhere northern lights bomb completely blew me away. Maybe you could complain about a match this short having such a climactic-feeling finishing stretch, or you could point out the one or two times where the men could've tightened up the match structure and spacing between work. I won't though. This was great, a total blast of a watch and further proof that Kurisu built an army of monster workers throughout the 90s that'll never truly get the appreciation they deserve.

Match Rating: A-

Masakazu Fukuda vs. Masaaki Mochizuki (WYF 08/04/1998)

    The key singles match of the endless WYF vs. Buko Dojo rivalry. The feud kicked off in early 1997, and here we are over a year later. Karatekas hold a grudge. Rather than being a different style fight, this ends up more as Fukuda and Mochizuki successfully predicting the juniors style of the 2000s. Both men are really talented and know how to get into their spots well, and they pull off a ton of little counter sequences, none of which ever go so long that it loses the magic. Mochizuki is a monster kicker who's gone from Kitao's poster child for his karate revolution to a truly masterful hybrid junior. Fukuda fights back against Mochizuki's quick feet with real mat supremacy, grinding him down with arm holds after a mishap results in Mochizuki slamming his arm into the ring post. Does the limb work lead anywhere? Not particularly, but it fills time well and never goes too long as to require some sort of bigger payoff or heightened attention to selling. Honestly, as I write this, I wonder why I loved this match so much. There's so many things about this match that I hold against matches that occurred in the last five years. Limb selling that goes nowhere? check. A somewhat stupid opening spot? They did the double dropkick, so check. An abrupt no-sell? check. On paper, this match has no right getting as much love from me as it does. I think what makes this match different from many other matches to feature these same tropes is not only that this match predates many of those matches by multiple decades, but also that these two execute these spots so well that I really don't care. The no-sell is especially forgiven, as a Mochizuki DDT is immediately no-sold by Fukuda into a deep armbar. There's a quickness and urgency to it that takes it from a corny "I power up through fighting spirit!!!" shitshow and turns it into a genuine burst of energy at the sight of a perfect opportunity. I'd say this is a great match if you turn your brain off, but it's honestly great enough that the brain can stay entirely on and still find a ton to enjoy here. I pray that I one day get to peek into the reality where both these guys found a home in a more fitting fed in their later years like Battlarts or ZERO1. This type of work would've done them very kindly.

Match Rating: A-

Hiroshi Watanabe vs. Phantom Funakoshi (SGP 05/04/1998)

    Is this the best match to ever happen at a flea market? At least within SGP's flea market show history, there's a few contenders, like the great space war where one of the Brahmans breaks an incredibly expensive Astro Boy statue, forcing Great Sasuke to buy it and use it in the next great space war. Still, this has to be the standout match of that catalogue. Watanabe is a Kotetsu Yamamoto trainee and Funakoshi is an Inoki idolizer, so they deliver the type of technical masterclass that would've blown a lot of people's minds if it didn't happen in front of passively-interested passersby. It feels like a higher level midcard match ripped right out of early 1980s NJPW, with incredible displays of body control like Watanabe's awe-inspiring escape from a knuckle-lock, and a real smorgasbord (I should have to pay a tax for using this word) of slick counters for holds and even slicker counters for counters. The work both guys put into all of their holds is laudable as well. Funakoshi spends a solid section of the early match trying his damndest to maintain a side headlock, and the way he rotates his body on the ground to keep Watanabe away from breaking the grip is immaculate. They stick to the grappling for a solid 2/3rds of the match, but once they get rolling with everything else, the quality stays just as high. Both men throw out some really great suplexes, like Watanabe's textbook german or Funakoshi's super impressive uranage. Watanabe even goes to the top rope and hits a crazy looking diving splash for a close 2.9. I try to avoid just listing moves as much as I can, but I honestly don't know what else to do with this match outside of repeatedly stating how perfect the work is. It's a match displaced out of time, meant for a raucous Korakuen Hall in 1982 instead of a flea market sixteen years later. It's no wonder that Watanabe would lead the charge with high-level grappling in the 21st century with Mumeijuku/Mutoha, and it's honestly a damn shame that Funakoshi never got to work there before hanging up the boots earlier this year. This one's available from Hasegawa for only $2. Bite the bullet and enjoy what may be the best technical wrestling match of 1998.

Match Rating: A

MIKAMI vs. Kuishinbo Kamen (Kamen Produce 12/15/2010)

    Kuishinbo Kamen's mask has angry eyes for this one. You know it's time to get serious. MIKAMI and Kamen actually have a ton of history, producing some great work in the 90s as both partners and opponents. This is their first time meeting in the ring since Kamen became Kamen, and I guess there was a score to settle? Kamen is an entirely different beast than usual in this match. Gone are the bits and goofs; say hello to Great Kabuki-style uppercuts and punt kicks. This is one of those real great juniors matches that pretty successfully blends a lot of different work together thanks to the talents of both men. MIKAMI and Kamen seamlessly flow from clean and pretty grappling to gritty punching and slapping to high octane juniors sprinting, all while maintaining a great pace and properly escalating everything. MIKAMI gets a busted mouth from all the Kabuki uppercuts and while he never really responds with equivalent violence, he more than makes up for it with massive bombs, like the ludicrous spot on the outside you really need to see to believe. The fans being so behind Kamen for the entire match is almost shocking considering his viciousness, albeit it makes complete sense. This is Kuishinbo Kamen's arena. These are Kuishinbo Kamen's people. Better to cheer on the devil you know than surrender your hopes to the hot guy you don't. Luckily, MIKAMI never tries to go for a sympathetic babyface-in-peril angle, and relies entirely on himself with tricked-out juniors work and a great mind for countering. His flying codebreaker is such an awesome move, easily the best execution of that move I've ever seen and perfectly combo'd with one of his always-great schoolboy pins. Speaking of schoolboys, the cradle rush near the end of this match is so great, and truly works here as opposed to a lot of other matches with this type of spot. MIKAMI and Kamen are trickster juniors and have been for their entire careers. They've won tons of matches with roll-ups and cradles, so out of everyone to spend a minute going for just those, these two are the most apt for the occasion. Even with some moments of dead air, this feels undeniable to me. A wonderful encounter, the type that makes me long for the reality where these two faced off at their physical peaks around 2003.

Match Rating: A-

Comprehensive Survival Tobita #1

                  (Written by jom, photo credit to @Namjunkzone)

Survival Tobita vs. H. N. Tokunakinozomu Kotoba no Bōryoku Kaijin (SPWC 03/30/2008)

    If I'm going to do a Tobita series, I have to start with a monster match. This time around, Tobita is taking on "H. N. Tokunakinozomu Kotoba no Bōryoku Kaijin", a massive creature covered in black spikes that possesses the power to say mean things and cause physical damage to his opponent. He starts the match hot by grabbing the mic during his entrance, verbally attacking Tobita, and beating down on the now powerless hero.

    Almost immediately, this match's story is clear. Kaijin is not only able to attack Tobita using only his voice, but he's also enveloped in those spikes, rendering most of Tobita's offense useless. Tobita tries to throw punches and headbutts, but every time he does he inadvertently hurts himself more than he hurt Kaijin. Kaijin is able to completely dominate the match during the early portions, hurling insults at Tobita before and after every move to maximize the damage dealt. He absolutely crushes Tobita with a huge splash and even hits a brutal headbutt to Tobita's groin (Kaijin's own face being covered by the spikes).

    Eventually, Tobita finds two weaknesses of Kaijin, the first being that as long as Tobita utilizes weapons, he's able to damage Kaijin without taking any damage himself. He beats Kaijin senselessly with a megaphone, as well as with his trusty plunger. Using that megaphone though, he discovers Kaijin's other weakness, one that completely changes the situation in Tobita's favor: Tobita can throw his own verbal jabs at Kaijin, weakening the monster's strength and, more importantly, his spikes. This allows for Tobita to finally hit Kaijin directly, and he does, mixing in more weapon usage like attacking Kaijin using a whole cart with big strikes like a stiff lariat. 

    In the final stretch, Tobita starts to pull out all the stops in an attempt to slay this monster. He throws a brutal lariat with a chain wrapped around his arm. He tries to choke the life out of the beast using that chain. With both attacks, it doesn't work, and Kaijin refuses to die. Tobita decides to truly go all-out in this do-or-die situation, and TAKES OFF ALL OF HIS CLOTHES. While I may not understand what this will do to help Tobita, I can still feel the power radiating off of this, and know that Tobita has entered into the most powerful form possible. He tries to murder Kaijin with a brutal kneeling piledriver, before finally dropping Kaijin face first onto a chair with a Tarzan Goto-esque facebuster, defeating the evil and once again saving the day.

    This is a textbook monster match from Tobita, and it was a ton of fun with a really well-told story. Kaijin was a really cool villain this time around, hitting some solid moves and having those spikes be a really good obstacle for Tobita to overcome. I think there have definitely been better monster matches (which we will absolutely get to in the future), but I had a ton of fun with this match even if the language barrier obviously meant some of the bits weren't able to land for me. The laughter of the crowd was enough for me to understand and feel it, and that's all I need at the end of the day.

Rating: B+

Survival Tobita vs. Dan Severn (TCW 03/13/2019)

    Tobita has had a number of matches that, on paper, don't seem real. They sound like a match you would get from hitting the random button a couple times in Fire Pro. And yet, they actually happened. 

    This is one of those matches, one that could only be conducted in Jimmy Suzuki's crackhead promotion Tokyo Championship Wrestling. This is the same promotion that brought both Rick Steiner and Road Warrior Animal to Japan so Kazushi Miyamoto could live out his childhood dreams of being a Steiner Brother and a Road Warrior. This is the same promotion that hasn't gone a single show without booking Yoon Kang Chul in an NKPWA World Championship match (and of the four shows, three of them booked him against Osamu Nishimura). This is the same promotion that booked a "Former WWE Stars" tag match, including "Yamaguchi-san Is Back!", a man pretending to be Wally Yamaguchi since the real one had passed away nearly a year prior. TCW is truly a wild promotion with the ability to create surreal matches like the one we're visiting today, and its existence is very appreciated.

    The match starts with Tobita and Severn going in for a handshake, but both refuse to let go. Eventually, Severn (wearing his Sunday's best) decides to force the handshake to end, snapping Tobita into a real mean shoulder-dislocating arm lock, to which Tobita immediately taps out to? The ref doesn't call for the bell though??? Severn spins Tobita around and locks in a tight guillotine choke. Tobita taps out once again, and once again the referee doesn't end the match. That's when the ring announcer gets on the microphone to tell the audience (and Tobita I guess) that this is a "sparring" match, meaning it'll go until the time limit is up. I realize at this point that what I'm about to see is the extended torture and execution of a hero.

    After Severn flows through holds once again to lock in a brutal rear naked choke, Tobita is able to rake his eyes and go outside for a breather. No amount of breaks will have him from the slaughter though, as right when he gets back in Severn destroys him with a huge belly to belly suplex (seen below). Tobita finally is forced to resort to a low blow, which Severn... completely no-sells. Tobita throws throat thrusts and Severn no-sells it. He even throws a hard headbutt and Severn no-sells it. Maybe my favorite part of the match happens with that headbutt, as right after hitting it, Tobita just looks around at the crowd with pure frustration on his face and hits the saddest shrug I've ever seen, practically screaming "WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO MAN?".

    After this point, the match enters a very simple formula: Severn beats up Tobita, Tobita taps to a submission, Severn and the ref argue about the rules of the match, Tobita eventually gets up, and then it all repeats. This happens for a couple minutes until finally, finally, Tobita gets hit with one more huge belly to belly suplex, and the ref calls the match off, as Tobita is entirely knocked out.

    This is a weird match to rate. This kinda felt like a Tobita monster match for the first half, with Tobita getting completely dominated by an overpowering force. However, unlike those monster matches where Tobita eventually finds a fatal weakness and turns the tables, there was no fatal weakness in Severn. Severn just stretched and suplexed Tobita for six minutes straight, and Tobita was left beaten and broken. I'll give it a C+ overall, as those first couple minutes were pretty cool and seeing Severn in his old age still bust out some big suplexes and holds was awesome, even if structurally this was extremely repetitive and spiritually this match hurt my soul.

Rating: C+

Survival Tobita vs. Takahiro Tababa (West Mexico 12/01/2020)

    Before anyone asks, no, I don't know why this promotion is called "West Mexico". They were not in Mexico. This match happened at the Paddinton Cafe in Saitama, and it's actually the final singles match to take place in the venue, as the cafe was closing for good immediately after this. Tobita's taking on Takahiro Tababa, a personal favorite on the indies who has a real mean streak and throws some hellacious kicks. This is also a chain deathmatch, meaning Tobita and Tababa spent the whole duration chained together.

    When I saw Tababa walk out with a wok and Tobita walk out with a pot, I knew this was going to be something special.

    It's brutality from the get-go. Tababa quickly takes to punching Tobita with the chain wrapped around his fist, blasting Tobita with stiff rights until Tobita is able to counter and initiate a sword fight with the kitchenware! Tababa is able to come out on top in this duel though, and immediately bonks Tobita on the head with his wok, creating this really sickening noise of steel colliding with skull. Tobita comes up from this and he's already bleeding out a fountain.

    Tobita is able to take back the advantage and get some level of revenge by using the wok to bludgeon Tababa, raining down gross strikes with it to the back of Tababa's head. There's some more cool stuff involving the chain like Tobita throwing some stiff punches with it wrapped around his fist (which cause Tababa to start bleeding as well) or Tababa using the chain to enhance an ankle lock, but this match truly enters a new level of crazy when Tobita drags Tababa outside the building. The two men start to brawl on the street, with passersby looking on in bewilderment at these two shirtless men, chained together and bleeding heavily, throwing each other into walls and choking each other with the chain. Tababa takes to kicking the hell out of Tobita, throwing some really hard shots including one kick directly at Tobita's neck. However, this portion of the match is undoubtedly where Tobita is in his best form. He does some wild stuff here, like trying to use a wrench to further open up Tababa's wound, or sending Tababa head-first into a wall, leaving a patch of blood behind. He even hits an elbow drop on the concrete, which is just completely unnecessary and probably hurt him a substantial amount too, but Goddamn if it isn't awesome.

    At this point, I'd like to mention one of my favorite parts of the whole match: the camera work. Maybe it's the film school dropout in me that cares so much about this, but the shots of this match were just something to behold. The entire thing was shot on one shaky handheld camera, and the camera operator made sure to get as close as possible to the action, constantly filling the screen with bloodied faces of the wrestlers. These choices led to one of the most immersive matches I have ever seen, with the shot composition making it feel like I'm right there on that street in Japan, watching these two men try to kill each other before my very eyes. It's a surreal experience, one very few matches have caused in my time as a wrestling fan.

    Eventually, both men head back inside Paddinton and onto the puzzle piece mats. Tababa, after having been mostly on the receiving end during the fight outside, goes into overdrive, absolutely taking it to Tobita with hard shots and some cool submissions like a double wristlock with the chain. He gets so riled up and pissed off that after the referee makes him break a submission, Tababa slaps him so hard it nearly knocks the ref out. Tobita is able to get a counter in, but both guys are so worn out that neither is able to take a clear advantage over the other. They start throwing shots without any rhyme or reason, and attempt to stretch each other into submission. Tababa initiates a shoot headbutt exchange, and as God as my witness, these may be some of the most horrific sounding headbutts I've ever heard. Multiple hollow thuds and cracks, the type of shit that makes your skin crawl and makes you reconsider the choices that led you to this point. Tababa rattles off a quick barrage of headbutts to take the advantage, before throwing some of his most violent kicks ever at Tobita, nearly getting a 10 count knockout. In one final moment of desperation, Tobita throws a wild cross-chop which sends Tababa tumbling. Tobita immediately uses the chain to drag Tababa right back up, destroying him with a Gotch piledriver and finally getting the victory.

    However, maybe the most important moment of the match came after it concluded.

    This brawl was followed up by the show's main event, a customary battle royale featuring all the wrestlers on the show. It's pretty much a tradition in these low level promotions to cap off the night with one of these matches, and it was no different here. There's some fun moments for sure, like Tobita coming out and immediately laying down, asking Kuishinbo Kamen to pin him because he's very tired after the last match and just wants to go home. Tababa sees this and decides to do the same, and once he gets pinned Tobita gets mad and starts yelling at him for stealing his idea. It's light-hearted stuff and a nice way to send the fans home happy, as well as a good way to say goodbye to a cafe that's hosted so many fun wrestling shows. At some point during this match though, everyone just stops wrestling. They all turn and look to the left of the camera. The camera pans over.

    The police are here.

    At some point during Tobita and Tababa's brawl outside Paddinton, an onlooker ended up calling the cops. Naoshi Sano and referee Pink Tiger both exit the match almost immediately, heading outside to try and explain to the cops what's going on. It's really a bizarre sight, seeing all these wrestlers and fans just standing there, watching on as real law enforcement have come to investigate what was probably described as a violent fight, considering the number of officers outside. Eventually, the police issue some citation for a public disturbance or something like that and exit the premises, but even as the battle royale continues, the image of police standing outside the cafe doesn't leave my mind. This night was meant to be a little celebration to close off Paddinton Cafe, but it ended up featuring one of the craziest moments I've seen in this decade of wrestling so far.

    There's something about this match that can't be described. Of course, there's a ton of great stuff that's easy to explain. Tobita and Tababa utilized the chain to great effect throughout the match, they bled a ton, they threw stiff shots and did some crazy brawling. All of that could come together by itself and lead to a pretty awesome encounter. 

    This match is more than that. 

    There's an intangible feeling that lives through this match, one that's just as much strange as it is chaotic. Arguably dumb spots are intercut with undeniably brutal violence. There's a sense of weirdness amongst all the bloodshed, one that is retained no matter how visceral it gets. And when the police showed up afterwards? That intangible feeling got cranked up to 11. Somehow, it almost felt like the most fitting conclusion possible to such a baffling match.

    I'm not a big fan of a lot of the hipster-ish shit some people say about wrestling. I've come to naturally groan or roll my eyes whenever I see someone talking about how "wrestling is art" or anything like that. With this match though, I'm almost forced to look at it as some esoteric piece of modern performance art. The visuals of the match were stunning. The conclusions of both the match and the whole ordeal were phenomenal. The stars aligned and both men put in such violent and bizarre work that it led to immediate real-world consequence. If any wrestling could be called "art", this match would probably be up for consideration as some of the highest art in the medium's history.

    Tobita and Tababa didn't do this to be artistic though. They did this because they wanted to hit each other really hard and have a weird brawl.

    Really, there's little else I could ask for than that.

Rating: A+