Showing posts with label Destroy Misaka. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Destroy Misaka. Show all posts

Monday, March 29, 2021

Monday Night RAW #5

     (Written by Jom)

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to MONDAY... NIGHT... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

       So, I know this is like two weeks late, but I have a great explanation for this. You see, 

    These two both gave me good impressions last time I saw them, so just based on the names I was very interested. Misaka is dressed the same as he was last time, very nice black clothes with a sleeveless button-up, but Sawa this time has no shirt and is wearing mma gloves. Sawa, just like last time, is a pretty solid shooter-type technical guy, putting on some really clean submissions and just being very slick with all of his takedowns. Misaka, also like last time, is just an absolute little mark, hitting a bunch of American-style moves and WWE finishers like the scissors kick and stunner, while also yelling "DESTROYY" before most of them. Both guys even continue their heel ways that we had seen in their previous matches on the series, as after the first exchange they both go for a handshake, before then both trying to cheap shot the other. I love it when two little shits fight each other and find camaraderie in their absolute asshole behavior. Sawa makes use of those gloves multiple times throughout the match, throwing potatoes like a mad man which Misaka responds to with some actually pretty good Funk-style punches. Now, I'm not really sure if it was the punches, the shenanigans, or the general wrestling that caused this, but for the entire match the crowd of fellow wrestlers was just so fucking into everything. They usually are, but this time it felt like they were having the time of their lives, and it made the contest that much better. Besides all that I can't really say much happens, but god damn was it so much fun. Misaka wins with a very nice neckbreaker (which he yells "DESTROYYY" before doing because of course he does), and after calls out someone on the mic. Turns out this person is literally across the room so he gets up and they start hate brawling, and after they get seperated another dude just runs over and jumping kicks Misaka, which I fucking died laughing at. Misaka finally gets on the mic one more time after this and tells people to go see him at fellow kusa promotion NKW along with Mr. Money (someone I hope to talk about here very soon), before throwing the mic down which causes it to have a seizure and bust everyone's ears. Misaka gets booed out of the building for this. This was such a strange match, as if this crowd wasn't there it would've been just another mid-level amateur match. However, the fact everyone watching was so fucking ecstatic to be there made this so much more enjoyable.

Rating: DESTROYYY

Norio Rikimaru vs. Kaijin Yanmani

    KAIJIN TIMEEEEEEE. You know it's about to be a good match when our favorite backpack-full-of-weapons black morph suit gawd walks out. Rikimaru looks like an actual indy worker, he's a pretty big dude who comes out in a robe and is wearing a black sleeveless shirt and shiny black and red pants with "MR ARROGANCE" on the back. Rikimaru is way stronger than Yanmani, pretty much manhandling him throughout the match while Yanmani finds advantages using his technical prowess and his backpack full of trusty whatever-the-fucks. These random items range from a bag full of candy, to a flyswatter, to even his trusty PSP, which he of course uses for his signature PSP chops. Rikimaru is able to dominate on Yanmani with nice moves like a back suplex, an Oklahoma stampede across the building (I guess RAW boys love this spot which, to be fair, I do too), and even a nice blue thunder bomb. Honestly however, he doesn't do a lot for me, as a lot of his offense feels pretty "do your moves"-ish. What I mean is that a lot of the time, no matter how the match is flowing, Rikimaru will always just hit a couple strikes, do a power move, and then one grounded attack before going for a cover. I'm not sure how many times he did this, but it was enough to be noticeable to me and just felt a little lazy. Yanmani isn't one to be lazy however, and is always there to interrupt his control segments with some very good weapons-based offense or genuinely good wrestling moves like a snap suplex. The match ends when Rikimaru hits Yanmani over the head with an XBOX (OW), before putting Yanmani in a submission. Yanmani crawls over, grabs what I assume was the XBOX (the camera didn't follow it close enough), and hits Rikimaru over the head as a receipt before hitting a piledriver onto the game consoles and finally connecting with a spinning backfist hold what seemed to be a controller for the three count. I think this is definitely the least good Yanmani match yet, but considering how much I've loved the last couple I've seen, this still ends up being a pretty fun match.

Rating: for the Yanmani completionist (which should be everyone)

Karasuno Sho vs. Yujiro Yamamoto

    No, I'm not joking and it's not just a case of someone having the same name. The ace of RAW is here and he's taking on one of Yuki Ishikawa's last Battlarts boys and the owner of BAP, Yujiro fucking Yamamoto. RAW's had some very strange and awesome guests, particularly indy shooters (who we will one day get to), and seeing any Yamamoto match from recent times is always a treat. Yamamoto even comes out with only kickpads, following the RAW code of conduct. No shoes, no shooting motherfucker. Both guys are very snug in all the grappling done, which makes sense considering how good they are at shoot-style working. A lot of the mat work is really smart too, both guys are great at going for holds while also trying to stop the other person from putting holds in themselves. Sho is definitely not here to make friends, using eye gouging and Yamamoto's repeated attempts to show respect to take advantage. Yamamoto, meanwhile, slowly comes to realize that not only will Sho not be respectful, but also that he should be disrespectful in response, going into segments of the match where he just pulverizes Sho with some mean bullying stomps and limb-bending. They do a couple great strike exhanges, mostly doing forearms but also throwing some loud chest kicks. Sho is really good at adding character behind a lot of what he does, hitting some really creative variations of classic maneuvers, such as a basic ankle slam being turned mid-air into an elbow drop to Yamamoto's leg. The ending segment of the match is also awesome, Sho and Yamamoto go into one more sweet forearm exchange that ends in Yamamoto pretty much disregarding Sho entirely and trying to talk to the crowd. Sho doesn't take kindly to this, and connects with a gross as hell cartwheel kick, a suplex gutbuster à la YAMATO, and a great curb stomp for a nearfall. He then hits the uranage side slam he'd been looking for the entire match, once again getting a nearfall. He backs up and goes for some type of cartwheel move, but Yamamoto rushes him and puts in a sleeper, before both men hit roundhouse kicks to the head. Yamamoto somehow stays standing, and takes advantage of Sho being on one knee by connecting with a sweet running knee for one more nearfall. Yamamoto immediately grabs him and rolls through into a double arm lock, which finally gets him the submission victory. Both guys went out there to deliver an intense battle and they absolutely did, pulling out all the stops to beat the other person. If you want to see a stiff, no ring war, this is exactly the match you'll wanna watch.

Rating: violence is king, forever and always


Monday, March 1, 2021

Monday Night RAW #2

   (Written by Jom)

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to MONDAY... NIGHT... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

       I slept in after crashing hard from working for 12 hours on a film set, so this'll probably go live at at 11, just barely fitting the category of "Monday Night". Honestly, with a series like this, that kinda fits it. Let's get into the matches for this week.

Red Alert Nakano vs. Destroy Misaka

    Nakano comes out in red tights (fitting for his name) and a t-shirt, while Misaka comes out in a full black suit. This guy is rocking a sleeveless black button down and a white tie, so I'm already kind of a fan. Almost immediately, Nakano comes in out of nowhere with a slingblade, and we're off to the races. The match is pretty intense the whole way through, with a big highlight being a strike exchange between Nakano's chops and Misaka's gu punches. Nakano is very much an indy style wrestler, while Misaka fits RAW perfectly with weird cheating moves like putting a black tube sock on Nakano's head to blind him. Misaka is actually able to get the upper hand towards the end, first hitting a fine spinning heel kick, then a pretty great axe kick, and finally finishing Nakano off with a good neckbreaker. This was fine, if unnotable and unmemorable, but I'll at least remember sleeveless button down Misaka.

Rating: don't cancel any visits to grandma for this match.

Ryusei Kawabata vs. Karasuno Sho

    Both men are kickpad'd up in this match, and Karasuno is notable for our series as he's pretty much the ace of modern day RAW. This match starts out with some actually really great chain wrestling, with Karasuno at one point stepping on Kawabata's foot while holding him in a wrist lock, making it much harder for Kawabata to reverse. Kawabata isn't a slouch in the wrestling aspect either, eventually being able to hit a chop block on Karasuno and doing some really good leg targeting. Karasuno isn't just great at wrestling, he also throws some great shoot kicks to Kawabata's chest and back. Once again though, Kawabata is almost his equal there, doing a genuinely great yakuza kick. Karasuno eventually is able to take full control with a god damn rock bottom, one that was done extremely well might I add. He holds the advantage for a while with good kicks and knees before Kawabata is once again able to take back control with the leg targeting, putting in a great sharpshooter and transitioning it into an STF. Kawabata at one point goes for a yakuza, but upon seeing Karasuno raise his arms up to defend, stops himself and does a great low kick instead, but pushes his luck too far by backing up and going for a shining yakuza, allowing Karasuno to counter into his own STF. This leads to the end of the match, as Karasuno is able to connect with an absolutely vicious enzuigiri, before following up with his big curb stomp for the... 2.9??? Karasuno is NOT a fan of Kawabata kicking out of this, and immediately does that foot lift Aleister Black does into another, more vicious one, finally getting the win. This is the type of match that if it happened in a regular puro promotion, it would be talked about on twitter for a good little bit. However, the fact it happens in the ringless RAW really makes it even better for me, and I can't wait to see more work from both men.

Rating: well, maybe grandma can wait after all.

Kaijin Yanmani vs. SG Wonder

    Another week, another SG Wonder main event. I swear to god I have this playlist on shuffle play and I'm just doing the first 3 matches that come up. Yanmani comes out in black pants and a black morph suit, while Wonder comes out once again in his shiny black pant and black long sleeve with white shirt on top, so this really does look like what RAW is all about. After some talking between the two men, the match begins, and honestly I have no clue what the rules are. I say this because almost immediately after the bell rings, Wonder says something, the announcers play a sound effect, announce Wonder as "out", and then some dude in giant black jacket and a CUTE CAT MASK comes out with a BASEBALL BAT, HITS WONDER ON THE ASS, AND THEN JUST LEAVES. I have absolutely no idea what just happened, but I'll just try to figure it out as the match goes on. They go to lock up and as they do Wonder says something again, which causes the sound effect to play. You can just see the terror on Wonder's face as he knows what's coming next. What he couldn't have known was that cat dude didn't come out with a baseball bat, but instead two giant silver block things, and just smashed Wonder from both sides with them. I guess the rule is "if you speak, the cat man cometh", which is a ruleset that should be done a lot more in the wider wrestling world. Wonder, based on his match with SAGAT last week, is a giant shit talker, so you can tell he really wants to talk but can't. He finally gets some revenge on Yanmani by pulling his chest hair out, making him yell and causing the cat man to come for him. Cat man comes out with a FUCKING BARBED WIRE BAT, and goes to hit a home run swing on Yanmani's head before turning it into a light bonk on the forehead with the back end of it. Yanmani says "ow" upon being hit, causing another sound effect play and the cat man to walk right back with the intention to hit him with the chest with the bat. Wonder finally takes this moment to shit talk. Poor Wonder, the fool doesn't realize that just because Yanmani is about to be hit doesn't mean he's free to talk. Cue one more sound effect play, and the cat man turns to Wonder, hitting him in the ass with the bat. This finally causes the cat man to leave, and they go back to their silent library wrestling match. There's a nice chop exchange which ends with Wonder hitting his great german suplex into a slam move. He tries to tell the ref something with pantomime, but the ref has literally no clue what he's trying to say. Wonder goes to the announcers and asks for a time-out. Sound effect plays, and Wonder looks like he's already dead inside. Cat man comes with a frog hand puppet, and chokes Wonder out with it mandible claw style. Yanmani seems to not have learned from Wonder's mistake and says something. Cat man actually leaves though, only to come back with a FUCKING MACE. He swings it at Yanmani and the fucking spiked ball breaks off and flies away, almost hitting an announcer in the face. This moment seems to signal the end of this portion of the match, as both men agree to finally just do a normal wrestling match. This normal match is actually pretty okay, with Wonder being obviously the better man in every way. Yanmani seems to realize this and just starts talking with Wonder. Based on the crowd's reaction, if I spoke Japanese I probably would've found this hilarious. Both men start throwing slaps and seemingly cursing each other out, and Wonder shoves the ref away while almost crying. And then, music starts playing. Ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS NOW A MUSICAL. BOTH MEN ARE DANCING THEIR HEARTS OUT. THEY GO ARM IN ARM, AND THEIR BOND IS HEALED ONCE MORE. THEY TURN AROUND AND PRANCE AWAY INTO THE SUNSET. THE BELL RINGS, THIS MATCH IS A DOUBLE COUNTOUT AND THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP IS THE WINNER. THIS IS PRO WRESTLING.

Rating: I thought the terrifying cat man would be the craziest part of this match. I was wrong. I love SG Wonder. I love RAW. I love pro wrestling.