Comprehensive Survival Tobita #3

                   (Written by jom, photo credit to @namjunkzone)

Survival Tobita vs. Jido Senshi Gardan (SPWC 12/23/1999)

    It's two days before Christmas and nine days before Y2K in Saitama, and Tobita is here to bring the gift of another vanquished monster. Tobita's also coming into this match holding SPWC's first ever title belt, the "Saitama Indiscriminate Real Fighting Championship", which is just a paper cutout of the NWA Worlds Heavyweight Championship. His opponent this time around is "Jido Senshi Gardan" (translated as "Automatic Warrior Gardan"), some type of robot or cyborg or android or whatever. In contrast to Tobita's flimsy paper belt, Gardan arrives with weapons of mass destruction, such as a bunch of chains hanging off his neck and shoulders, a police baton in his boot, and a strange claw-like item in his hand. I genuinely don't know how to describe it, but it looks like it would hurt.

    Wouldn't you know it, but Tobita did not come solely bringing the gift of a slain foe; he also brought with him a good match! This is a textbook monster match for Tobita, the type of super fun work you'd see him continue for years and years after this. He gets absolutely brutalized right from the start by his metallic foe, being stabbed almost immediately by that claw thing I mentioned earlier and selling it like absolute death. On the topic of Tobita's selling, god damn man, I've really done him a disservice by not talking about it before. Tobita has always been a shockingly good seller, doing some awesome tumbling and dramatic slow-falls that perfectly fit these types of matches. Plus, any time he needs to get across the power of his otherworldly opponents, he has no qualms about launching himself away at high speeds, usually right onto his head. 

    Gardan is a really interesting foe this time around, as unlike a lot of future monsters who would have one clear and definitive offense to them, he has a grab-bag of pain to utilize. He stabs Tobita with the claw, he smashes the baton over him (embracing Big Boss Man-ism with a fancy little baton twirl), and when all else fails, he resorts to power attacks, slamming his arms into Tobita with tons of force like some sort of cyborg Vader. He seemes almost impervious to anything Tobita could throw at him, even somehow shaking off Tobita hitting the power button on the middle of his forehead. Then Tobita hits a Baba chop, and Gardan is a dead man walking. All it takes is a big lariat (which Tobita whiffs at first but he turns right around and does it again because Tobita NEVER gives up) and an emphatic fire thunder powerbomb for Tobita to add another name to his list of defeated oddities.

    As usual, a fun monster match from Tobita. I think that, in terms of comparing it to the other monster matches he's had, this definitely isn't one of the best, but it's also not one of the worst. Monster matches have a pretty high ground floor for me when it comes to enjoyment, so I'm almost always gonna enjoy my time watching Tobita take on one of his "villain of the week" opponents, and this was no exception.

Rating: B

Survival Tobita vs. Kodo Fuyuki (FMW 04/15/2001)

    How the hell did this happen? A little less than a year and a half after Tobita/Gandan, we're at a packed Korakuen Hall, and Tobita is fighting in the semi-main event against FMW booker and top guy Kodo Fuyuki. FMW may have been in dire straits at this point (with less than a year remaining before their final show), but man, god bless Fuyuki for seeing the vision and bringing in one of the best ever. Tobita is here to give the double thumbs up and OH MY GOD HE'S GOT THE MIC!!! Tobita getting to do the classic microphone appeal in fucking Korakuen Hall for FMW. This is the type of shit I live for. Fuyuki is such a fan of Tobita that he's even had himself handcuffed, as he knows that if he faced Tobita without this handicap, Tobita would unleash too much of his power, resulting in the absolute obliteration of Kodo Fuyuki.

    All joking aside, this was enjoyable for what it was. Tobita is mostly in control for the first minute of the match, eating a few boots from Fuyuki and responding with some lariats, a leg drop, and a DDT. Tobita goes for the fire thunder powerbomb, but GENSHI ENJIN VIRGON makes a run in, attacking Tobita with bolt cutters! He cuts Fuyuki free right after, leading to Fuyuki blasting Tobita with his signature charging lariat for the win (with Virgon seen jumping away in the background).

    There's not much to say about this. Once again, for a match that only went two minutes and had very limited potential due to the nature of it, this was solid. I thought the handcuff gimmick was a fun way to feasibly give Tobita offense in a match against such a higher level opponent, and the Virgon run-in was completely unexpected (I would've never guessed that apeman knew how to use bolt cutters), so all in all, a fine match.

Rating: B-

Survival Tobita vs. Takaku Fuke (FU*CK! 03/28/2010)

    Once again, how the hell did this happen? It's been nine years since Fuyuki's crushing defeat of Tobita in Korakuen Hall, and now we've returned to a venue that fits Tobita much better, that being FU*CK!'s home, the WONDER LAND arena. He's taking on Takaku Fuke, a genuine legend of MMA as one of the founding members of Pancrase. Fuke is mostly remembered for his shootfighting days or his time as a semi-regular in Osaka Pro, but during the late 00s and early 10s, Fuke was all over the sleaziest cards imaginable in Osaka, being a FU*CK! regular while making appearances in promotions like SGP, JWA Kansai, and many more. This match actually has a solid amount of build going into it, as the year prior, Tobita and Fuke got into a fight while teaming together, leading to the match ending in their defeat. At the start of 2010, Fuke defeated Tobita as part of a massive gauntlet match. Now, less than two months later, Tobita is ready to take his revenge on Fuke in an "Irregular UWF Rules" match.

    The magic of this match begins even before the bell rings. The DVD release of this match starts off with more than 30 minutes of Tobita walking around a city in the dead of night, smoking as he goes while imparting great knowledge upon the cameraman and, through him, us. He buys cigarettes from a vending machine (making funny faces at the age verification cameras), smokes while laying down on a bench (flipping the whole bench over while trying to get up), and shadowboxes in front of a chain link fence. It's the type of footage that really makes me wish I knew even a little Japanese, because I imagine the things he and cameraman/FU*CK! owner Shiratori were talking about were hilarious.

    After those 30+ incredible minutes, we arrive at WONDER LAND, and there's a big fight feel in the air. Fuke comes out wearing the ultra-rare silver pants, accidentally jabroni'ing Kenji Fukimoto by going through a different side of the ring than the one where Fukimoto opened the ropes for him. Tobita follows up silver pants Fuke by coming out with a KITCHEN KNIFE, POINTING IT AT FUKE AS A THREAT AGAINST HIS LIFE. He then goes into the bathroom and puts the knife in the toilet water just for added danger. Tobita then... walks back into the backstage area... BEFORE REAPPEARING WITH A FLAMETHROWER AND ATTEMPTING TO INCINERATE THE AUDIENCE, CHASING THEM OUT THE FUCKING BUILDING!!! This, of course, sets off the fire alarm, leading to the FU*CK! staff spending five straight minutes trying to turn it off. Tobita just sits on the top rope the entire time, watching as they try to undo the chaos he caused.

    And then, as god as my witness, Fuke and Tobita do their entrances one more time.

    Fuke comes out and jabronis Fukimoto again (I've got a feeling this time it wasn't an accident). Tobita comes out with the flamethrower already in hand (to which the fans respond by preemptively running for the door), but passes it to one of the FU*CK! staff with a big smug grin. The in-ring announcements are done, and finally, after over an hour of no wrestling, it's time for the match to begin.

    We start off slow, with Fuke and Tobita trying to feel each other out while exchanging some shoteis. Seeing Tobita throw shoteis is such a strange sight but he's putting some real force behind them, and Fuke is responding with similar levels of force with his shoteis and leg kicks. Fuke stays in firm control for this portion of the match, constantly outmatching Tobita on the mat with heel hooks and throwing some of the hardest kicks I've ever seen him throw. Tobita quickly changes tactics though, realizing that this shooting stuff just doesn't work for him, and instead returns to ol' reliable: evil fouling. He pokes the eyes. He grabs at the throat. Any time Fuke tries to lock in a hold or do anything to take advantage, Tobita is quick to rake the face or shoot below the belt to take back control. Tobita really channels some devious influences during this portion (and really for the whole match), throwing some Kurisu-level stomps to Fuke's head while letting loose with a few horrific toe kicks to the face and back. Fuke is able to pull out some great stuff to try and fight back during this, including a beautiful armbar counter to a grounded choke, but again, every single time he gets any footing, Tobita responds with cruel rule-bending, culminating in Fuke locking in a Fujiwara armbar, only for Tobita to escape his grip enough to swing his trapped arm inwards, punching Fuke right in the dick.

    Firmly in control, Tobita finally turns to the plunder, and oh boy, he's got a lot this time around. Immediately, he stabs Fuke in the face with some sort of sharp object, resulting in Fuke bleeding. He wraps cables around Fuke's face and neck to try and choke him out. He takes a real big knife and starts cutting across Fuke's forehead. There's just so much here that he utilizes in an attempt to make Fuke suffer in the most extreme ways possible. The ultimate weapon, however, comes soon after all this. 

    Tobita goes out of the ring and brings in... a children's scooter. He revs it up, and as fast as he can, sends it (and himself) flying into Fuke. I can't begin to explain the emotions I feel watching Survival Tobita crash a scooter into a bloody Takaku Fuke. It's just the kind of thing you could never imagine happening until it does. A truly surreal moment. Tobita follows it up by slamming a whole cooler into Fuke's head because of course he does. 

    Instead of going for a pinfall after all of this, Tobita, in an attempt to truly demoralize Fuke, talks shit about Pancrase and calls Fuke up to give Tobita his best shot. Fuke paintbrushes Tobita across the face with a brutal slap, knocking him down. Now, the one standing on top is Takaku Fuke, covered in blood with a crazed look in his eyes from the disrespect served to him by Tobita. In this moment, Fuke is given the chance to change from the victimized to the victimizer, and he takes that chance and runs with it. He rains down punches to Tobita's face, stomps and chokes him with his foot, and throws vicious kicks straight to the head. Tobita tries to close the distance by grappling Fuke, but Fuke just hoists him up and drops him directly onto his neck with a backdrop driver. And then, Fuke goes to the outside, and he gets the biggest light tube I have ever seen, longer than two normal tubes put together. Fuke smashes that light tube over Tobita's fucking head. In fact, he gets even more super long tubes and just goes to town on Tobita, breaking them over his face over and over and over again. Finally, Tobita, now a bloody mess just like Fuke, tries to get up in a dazed state, only for Fuke to sink in a deep rear naked choke. Fuke looks like a deranged madman, covered in a deep crimson with an evil grin stretching across his face. Tobita tries to survive but it's too much. The referee calls for the bell when Tobita stops responding.

    Fuke, of course, doesn't let go immediately. He spent the 90s fighting legends like Minoru Suzuki, Masakatsu Funaki, and Ken Shamrock. He's a Pancrase original for Christ's sake. And this sleazy camo-wearing indie worker thinks he can get away with what he did in this match? Not a fucking chance. It takes the referee along with another wrestler to physically pry Fuke off of Tobita. Fuke comes to his senses immediately, and, in an act of good faith, helps to revive Tobita from his current unconscious state, before offering a handshake to his adversary. Tobita, remembering that two minutes ago Fuke was attempting to choke him to death, responds how you would probably expect him to:

    We're right back into the heat of battle, with Tobita and Fuke throwing stiff shots at each other, along with Tobita swinging at anything that moves. One of those things that move is Kenji Fukimoto, who comes into the ring in the hopes of calming things down and gets a light bulb smashed into his face for his troubles. Now, Fukimoto is also brawling, throwing closed fists with Tobita and getting so heated that even Fuke has to stop his fighting to try and split Fukimoto and Tobita up. Tobita whips off his shirt and multiple people have to come in and stop them from going any further. 

    As the venue finally quiets, Tobita picks up the mic, and after talking with Shiratori (who's currently handling the main camera), invites Fuke into the ring. They converse for over 20 minutes, both covered in blood and battle scars, before finally, the two bow to each other, showing their respect and putting a true end to this war. Hell, Tobita even goes around shaking hands with the crowd (probably to apologize for the whole attempted incineration thing). Even after all his truly heinous actions in his conflict against Fuke, Tobita is still a hero for the people.

    I don't really know how to look back at this match after watching it.

    From the 30 minute Tobita midnight walk to the insane entrances, from the shoot style opener to the scooter attack, from the bloodthirsty Fuke to the massive post-match brawl. Hell, even considering the 20 minute talk battle Tobita and Fuke had afterwards, ending in both men bowing to each other. This has to have been one of the greatest experiences I have ever had watching pro wrestling. This is the type of tape that really reminds me why I love this sleaze shit so much. Why I've poured so much time, energy, and money into getting as much of it as possible. This is the pro wrestling I love in maybe its ultimate form. There will never be another match quite like Survival Tobita vs. Takaku Fuke.

Rating: A+

FU*CK! 06/07/2003

                (Written by jom)

    What a long way we've come.

    I don't think it would be much of an exaggeration to say that without FU*CK!, there would be no DRAGON SCREW blog. The day this post is made, Tsubasa Shiratori's fever dream of a wrestling promotion will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of their first show, and I thought it would only be appropriate to go back and see how it all began. There's a couple blog favorites, a few very notable names making appearances (even Sanshiro Takagi was here to watch the show), and a whole heaping of wacky, sleazy, absolutely ludicrous bullshit to be found. So sit back, relax, watch the DVD intro here, and join me on this journey into the big bang event of the greatest shindie ever.

Great Thunder vs. Masked Invader

    Two masked guys I've never heard of starting us off here. Great Thunder came out with no music, wearing a generic purple mask and a JWP shirt for unknown reasons. Maybe he's a big fan of Command Bolshoi? The world will never know. Masked Invader, meanwhile, actually got to come out with an entrance theme, wearing a kinda cool red mask and black shorts.

    The match started with an absolutely awful lock-up and an even worse headlock takeover by Thunder. Thunder then tried to apply a wristlock while Invader was on the ground and fell over. Invader responded by standing up and punt kicking Thunder 3 times. Then he pinned him. Then he won.

    Thunder cut a promo afterwards where he said something about this being his first time wrestling in an actual ring. The show's theme song interrupted him three different times, as the sound guy kept thinking the promo was over when it wasn't. We then cut to backstage footage with Thunder unmasking, revealing himself to be referee The Mighty, before thanking the now-unmasked Masked Invader (it's Naoshi Sano) for the match.

    I honestly don't even know what to say. Welcome to FU*CK!.

Rating: 

UWF Rules: Space Killers vs. Parapara Kuma-san

    Following... that, we've got a UWF rules match between two staples of the promotion's early years. Killers is a bonafide FU*CK! legend, once going 0-10 against Ultraman Robin in a 10 minute iron man match. He's also a trainee of Masanobu Kurisu! Truly, he has all the makings to be one of my favorite wrestlers ever. Parapara Kuma-san is also pretty legendary, just a big cartoonish bear who does a dance routine during his entrance and then kicks the shit out of people. Also, The Mighty is out to officiate the match. Kudos to him for recovering so quickly from the beating he had just taken.

    Within 30 seconds of the match starting, Kuma shot a double leg takedown, and the second he was on top of Killers, Mighty started a pinfall count. At that moment, I knew I was going to witness something special.

    There was so much going on here that I could talk about. Mighty was probably the most notable part of this match, as not only did he count that pinfall, he also ended the match almost immediately after when he saw Kuma had a good hold on Killers. Killers didn't give up, Mighty just decided to end the match. Kuma would have to lead the crowd into clapping along with his dance (shown below) to convince Mighty to start the match back up, and then Mighty counted a pinfall again, resulting in Kuma walking up to him like he was gonna kill him.

    Space Killers was the quintessential FU*CK! worker in this match, throwing mostly awful strikes and having no real idea of how to do any of the holds he was attempting. It is worth mentioning though, I said "mostly" for a reason, because he took advantage of Kuma's big fucking mask by hitting some insane shoteis. My favorite moment of his in the match had to have been when he had Kuma on the ground and was holding both his legs, just standing there for about 20 seconds trying to decide on what hold to apply before going with one of the weirdest boston crabs I have ever seen. Truly, you could not ask for a better wrestler for the FU*CK! environment than Killers.

    Parapara Kuma-san, meanwhile, blew my mind in this match. Underneath that yellow bear suit was a cold-blooded killer, constantly shooting for holds and applying them pretty damn well for a guy in a big bear costume. He was throwing some picturesque kicks too, and any time they connected they let out a real mean thud. Hell, he couldn't even be stopped on defense either, kipping up twice after being knocked down like Killers was doing nothing to hurt him. Killers just couldn't kill his stuffed animal-looking foe. 

    Until he did! Eventually, Killers got mount and threw some stomach punches before Kuma got the ropes. However, Kuma just didn't get up after that, and Mighty ended the match in favor of Killers after confirming with Kuma that he couldn't breathe anymore under the mask. An incredible end to an incredible match. The last time I saw a match with vibes similar to this was back when I reviewed Mambo Shintaro vs. Hideki Shioda. There were so many surreal moments in this match, moments that had me rewinding over and over to see them again and again. There's just something indescribably beautiful about wrestling like this. Watching this match felt like a religious experience. I know with certainty that I have witnessed God here, for he is a man in a yellow bear costume.

Rating: A+

Alien Guts vs. Dada 2000

    Two of Ultraman Robin's greatest enemies meet in mortal combat in the next match on this show. Dada 2000 is a dude in a monkey mask who came out with slippers, attacking fans with them and making monkey noises. Alien Guts, meanwhile, is a dude in a bird mask who kept asking fans to shake his hand, and whenever they did he would be a big ole meanie and get booed for it. At one point he tried walking on top of the empty chairs in the crowd, and ended up falling down. We are doing very good in this match so far just from the entrances.

    Sadly, the match itself never really fulfilled the bar set by the entrances. It started off well enough, with both Dada and Guts offering a handshake to the ref, leading to a double whip off the ropes into them completely avoiding him and locking up. After that though, this just never relented with the bits. It was a pure slapstick match, and I don't know man, comedy matches like that just don't do it for me like the absolute car crashes that you usually see on FU*CK! shows. There were a couple fun enough moments, like Guts going for a rope run and Dada tripping him, or Guts taking Dada's slippers and smashing them over his head, but it just felt like such a chore to get through compared to the masterpiece before it.

    Dada 2000 ended up getting the victory here with a camel clutch using one of the slippers to choke Guts. This type of match would probably appeal to some people a lot more than it appealed to me, since I just can't stand a lot of comedy matches that are based on bits and gags like this. Still, the actual wrestling was alright and it never actually crossed into being offensively bad. Not the worst thing I've ever seen, but certainly not the best either.

Rating: C-

Riki Senshu vs. Kenji Fukimoto

    Four matches in, and we've reached to the one serious match of the show! Fukimoto and Senshu are both Kurisu Gym trainees, and have been tied to each other for basically their whole careers. Both were J2000 guys from day one. Senshu was the one to unmask Fukimoto when he was "Flash Thunder Machine". They joined together to lead the exodus out of J2000, starting up their own promotion called J2K. No matter what one of them did, the other was sure to be right behind him. This was also a pretty important match for Senshu, as not only was this his return match after retiring on a J2K show in September the previous year, but it was also the debut of the Riki Senshu name, as, up to this point, he had been wrestling under his real name, Ryo Tamiyasu. By far, this was the match I was most excited for coming into this review, as these two have always done amazing work together. Hell, we've talked about their 2008 singles match on the blog already, and that's an indies MOTDC for me. 

    Fukimoto was pretty awesome as usual. These earlier Fukimoto matches have really been a revelation, as while I enjoy his more recent work as a dude in a rat mask or a weird death metal FREEDOMS brawler, Fukimoto in the 2000s was embracing Onita-ism and Muto-ism to great effect, putting on really compelling matches for the sleaziest of indies. He was in killer mode for this one, throwing some great potshots when he could like hitting a really nice flashing elbow and following it up with a wild dropkick to Senshu's face as he was rolling out of the ring. Speaking of the flashing elbow, his Muto-isms were practically perfect in this match, hitting multiple really beautiful shining wizards, to the point that he might be tied with Low Ki for best Keiji Muto impersonator. He raised the violence up even more as the match reached it's conclusion, smashing chairs over Senshu like their trainer and hitting a gross piledriver onto a bunch of chairs. My one major critique of him was a no-sell he did after a Senshu backdrop, but it led to a mean shining wizard and he didn't pretend like he was dead after doing it, so it could've been a lot worse.

    Senshu, wouldn't you know it, was even fucking better than Fukimoto! Another revelation of the last few massive tape purchases, Senshu has really quickly become one of my favorite guys in the 21st century of sleaze indies, being completely committed to doing Choshu-ism while also having the grit and hate you would expect from a Kurisu trainee. He was dropping bombs left and right here, smashing Fukimoto's face in with punches and kicks while trying to break his neck with some massive backdrops. He also got to showcase his incredible technique as a wrestler, like locking in a perfect figure four necklock or busting out a beautiful flying headscissors. And of course, Senshu absolutely decimated Fukimoto with some monstrous Riki Lariats. He always puts so much force into the swing, really throwing it like he's trying to send his opponent's head flying, and with Fukimoto, he nearly did just that.

    In the end, Senshu got the advantage, sending Fukimoto spiraling out of control with a final Riki Lariat before locking in the Sasori Gatame to get the tapout victory. This was a real asskicker of a match, with two dudes not afraid to throw stiff strikes and drop each other on their heads for the love of the game. I think that the things holding this back from greatness are the no-sell by Fukimoto and the condensed nature of the match, as the final runtime for it ended up being less than 8 minutes. It was a match more dedicated to dropping bombs than having a larger story or smooth escalation like their incredible match five years later would have. Still, two guys just beating the tar out of each other will never be a negative to me.

Rating: B+

Big Suka & Giant Ra vs. Jackie Lynn & Pedro Takaishi

    In the semi-main of the show, we've got team TAMA taking on team... big? I'll be totally honest, I have zero clue who Big Suka and Giant Ra are. Both are in completely white attire, with one having a white sheet draped over him and the other carrying around an antenna. Neither of them are particularly tall either, so I'm slightly upset at this egregious false advertising. I do know Lynn and Takaishi though, as both were regulars for the aforementioned TAMA group run by Kancho Nagase. Lynn is someone I've never seen before outside of pictures, but he's got a cool drunken kung fu gimmick, so he seems like my type of wrestler. Takaishi is someone I have seen though, and he's a blast to watch every time, working like a capoeira version of Kazuhiko Ogasawara. Also, just a fun fact, Jackie Lynn is actually directly responsible for Munenori Sawa's entry into pro wrestling! Sawa was fighting on an MMA show that Lynn was working as a referee for, and Lynn invited Sawa to wrestle for TAMA based on his MMA performance and his background training in amateur wrestling at the Battlarts B-CLUB. Another fun fact, Sawa would make his debut as a pro wrestler on a TAMA show against none other than Pedro Takaishi. So, in a way, Big Sky and Giant Law are taking on Team Munenori Sawa, and I just think that's kinda neat.

    Team Munenori Sawa really delivered here. Pedro was cool like he usually is, doing sick capoeira kicks as well as some really awesome leg sweeps. Match highlight for him was definitely the corner abisegeri he hit where he slid on his forehead towards one of his opponents. That kick always pops me really hard, and it was cool to see him do it here. Jackie Lynn was the real star of this match though. He was entirely committed to the whole drunken fighter gimmick, constantly taking sips from his bottle of sake and stumbling around the ring but consistently pulling off these awesome lightning-fast strikes or falling into a crazy hold. He threw a brutal spinning backfist into an abisegeri at one point, and also did this incredible lackadaisical roll into a tight ankle lock. I absolutely need to try and seek out more Jackie Lynn matches going forward. 

    Big Suka and Giant Ra, meanwhile, were... something alright. I really don't know what to say about them. One of them was seemingly a pretty talented wrestler, moving around on the mat well and hitting a good dropkick, but neither of them really did anything super notable in the ring. I will say, the gimmick of the antenna being their power source, and therefore to gain power one of them has to stand on the top rope holding it up, is really goofy in a good way. It led to a couple good moments of Lynn or Pedro cutting them off by just shoving the non-legal man off the top rope.

    The finish to the match was a good way to wrap up the aforementioned story with the antenna, as Suka and Ra went for a double team attack on Lynn but Pedro leg dropped the antenna, resulting in them immediately falling over dead and Lynn covering both for the win. I think this had some fun stuff going on within it for sure, but good lord did it feel long. It went a little over 11 minutes, but those 11 minutes felt like a lifetime. Enjoyable overall, but it could've been done better. Also, I still have no clue what the deal with the white sheet was. I guess we'll never know.

Rating: B-

Ultraman Robin, Ken Kato, Kento Okumura, & White Mask vs. Space Killers, Naoshi Sano, Bungee Takada, & Tetsuhiro Kuroda

    With a show as legendary as this, the only way you can end it is with a big star-studded tag match. That's what we've got here, with team SGP taking on the indie all-stars in a 4v4 match. However, it didn't start as this, as originally, this was booked as Robin/Kato/Okumura vs. Takada/Sano/Kuroda. However, after everyone had made their entrances, Space Killers came out, yelling at Robin and taking a bunch of papers into the ring. He then cut into the folded up papers to make art like you'd do in elementary school, including making an Ultraman cutout and then RIPPING THE HEAD OFF!!! Team SGP take great offense to this and call in their trusted ally White Mask from the SGP merch table. However, Killers does not want to face White Mask. He wants to face... GENTARO! The camera immediately pans over to show GENTARO in the audience, laughing his fucking ass off at Space Killers calling him out, before getting up and walking into the ring to confront Killers. Killers throws one punch to the stomach and GENTARO is sent flying! GENTARO gives him a good pep talk and finally our match starts.

    God, this was the perfect way to end the show. There was so much fun stuff going on here, just a total blast of a tag match. The basic premise of it was that Space Killers cannot wrestle, so his team decided to try and coach him to greatness. However, they, along with the other team, also just kinda wanna see him suffer cause its really funny. Team SGP were really awesome here not only victimizing Killers but just being a real force to be reckoned with. White Mask didn't get to do a ton but he threw some mean chops and hit an incredible dropkick on Killers. Kato was a house of fire brawling with Takada for the whole match, throwing all his strikes with some real oomph and refusing to back down in the face of superior firepower. Kento Okumura (the future KENT) was probably the best of the whole crew in terms of talent, doing tons of really awesome juniors stuff like hitting a real mean jumping thrust kick on Kuroda and a sick dropkick to the back of Takada's head. He also had a few moments of going wild, like getting pissed at some of the headbutts Killers threw and dragging him to the middle of the ring for a giant swing that would make Otsuka proud. However, Ultraman Robin was by far the highlight, just because of how mean he was. He was on a mission to jabroni Space Killers, and he really did it by just hoofing him around the ring like it was nothing and eating his strikes as casually as possible. At one point he locked in a really mean stepover toehold fujiwara armbar, and the whole time he had it in he was posing for the camera. Just some real bully shit from a protector of justice.

    The indie all-stars absolutely held up their own end of the match. Bungee Takada was a beast here in his brawling with Kato, throwing extremely gross kicks like one that connected right with Kato's jaw, and had some cool moments outside of his fighting with Kato like hitting a hard sit-out powerbomb on Okumura. Sano was also fun here, being a pretty devious son of a bitch hitting tons of little punches and kicks to the balls, while also busting out some of his usual awesome stuff like the uppercut shotei. Kuroda was fully into hitting his spots like usual but I usually enjoy Kuroda spots so I'm not complaining. Plus, he was fucking dying the whole match at everything Killers did and that was very fun to watch. Finally, Space Killers. The legend himself. He was the lifeblood of this match. He was the eternal victim of both team SGP and the indie all-stars meant to be his partners. At one point, he tried to escape the torture of Ultraman Robin by tagging out, leading to his whole team jumping off the apron and telling him to fight on. And man, he fought his fucking heart out. The few times he got to take control it was something to behold, with Killers throwing lots of wild strikes in the hopes of even causing the littlest amount of damage to his opponents. His moments of power were few and far between, but by god, Killers dealing even the littlest damage felt like David slaying Goliath.

    After about 20 minutes of genuinely really enjoyable action, Kuroda took the win for his team with a huge lariat on Okumura. I had so much fun watching this match. Killers being the ultimate babyface in peril was so evil yet so awesome, and everyone in the match got their own moments to prove why they belonged there. Plus, even after the match, the victimizing didn't stop, with team SGP continuing to stomp Killers out and Kato and Okumura throwing water bottles at Killers during his whole post-match promo. What a way to cap off such a great show, and what a way to introduce the world to FU*CK!.

Rating: B+

    If you've made it to the end, thank you so much for reading. I usually don't put stuff like this in my posts, but this show is potentially one of the most important for the formation of the blog. FU*CK! has consistently been the promotion I most enjoy watching, and has exposed me to so many guys from the Kansai scene I now love, like Riki Senshu, Kenji Fukimoto, Takuya Fujiwara/Perseus Jr., Hideaki Sumi, and so many more. So, Tsubasa Shiratori, if you somehow read this, thank you so much for bringing FU*CK! into the world, thank you so much for making these shows readily available through your web shop (link to it here, check it out for hundreds of amazing Kansai indie shows), and really, thank you so much for everything you've done for pro wrestling. Without FU*CK!, I would be a very different man, watching very different (and much worse) wrestling. Thanks again for reading.