Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Comprehensive Survival Tobita #3

                   (Written by jom, photo credit to @namjunkzone)

Survival Tobita vs. Jido Senshi Gardan (SPWC 12/23/1999)

    It's two days before Christmas and nine days before Y2K in Saitama, and Tobita is here to bring the gift of another vanquished monster. Tobita's also coming into this match holding SPWC's first ever title belt, the "Saitama Indiscriminate Real Fighting Championship", which is just a paper cutout of the NWA Worlds Heavyweight Championship. His opponent this time around is "Jido Senshi Gardan" (translated as "Automatic Warrior Gardan"), some type of robot or cyborg or android or whatever. In contrast to Tobita's flimsy paper belt, Gardan arrives with weapons of mass destruction, such as a bunch of chains hanging off his neck and shoulders, a police baton in his boot, and a strange claw-like item in his hand. I genuinely don't know how to describe it, but it looks like it would hurt.

    Wouldn't you know it, but Tobita did not come solely bringing the gift of a slain foe; he also brought with him a good match! This is a textbook monster match for Tobita, the type of super fun work you'd see him continue for years and years after this. He gets absolutely brutalized right from the start by his metallic foe, being stabbed almost immediately by that claw thing I mentioned earlier and selling it like absolute death. On the topic of Tobita's selling, god damn man, I've really done him a disservice by not talking about it before. Tobita has always been a shockingly good seller, doing some awesome tumbling and dramatic slow-falls that perfectly fit these types of matches. Plus, any time he needs to get across the power of his otherworldly opponents, he has no qualms about launching himself away at high speeds, usually right onto his head. 

    Gardan is a really interesting foe this time around, as unlike a lot of future monsters who would have one clear and definitive offense to them, he has a grab-bag of pain to utilize. He stabs Tobita with the claw, he smashes the baton over him (embracing Big Boss Man-ism with a fancy little baton twirl), and when all else fails, he resorts to power attacks, slamming his arms into Tobita with tons of force like some sort of cyborg Vader. He seemes almost impervious to anything Tobita could throw at him, even somehow shaking off Tobita hitting the power button on the middle of his forehead. Then Tobita hits a Baba chop, and Gardan is a dead man walking. All it takes is a big lariat (which Tobita whiffs at first but he turns right around and does it again because Tobita NEVER gives up) and an emphatic fire thunder powerbomb for Tobita to add another name to his list of defeated oddities.

    As usual, a fun monster match from Tobita. I think that, in terms of comparing it to the other monster matches he's had, this definitely isn't one of the best, but it's also not one of the worst. Monster matches have a pretty high ground floor for me when it comes to enjoyment, so I'm almost always gonna enjoy my time watching Tobita take on one of his "villain of the week" opponents, and this was no exception.

Rating: B

Survival Tobita vs. Kodo Fuyuki (FMW 04/15/2001)

    How the hell did this happen? A little less than a year and a half after Tobita/Gandan, we're at a packed Korakuen Hall, and Tobita is fighting in the semi-main event against FMW booker and top guy Kodo Fuyuki. FMW may have been in dire straits at this point (with less than a year remaining before their final show), but man, god bless Fuyuki for seeing the vision and bringing in one of the best ever. Tobita is here to give the double thumbs up and OH MY GOD HE'S GOT THE MIC!!! Tobita getting to do the classic microphone appeal in fucking Korakuen Hall for FMW. This is the type of shit I live for. Fuyuki is such a fan of Tobita that he's even had himself handcuffed, as he knows that if he faced Tobita without this handicap, Tobita would unleash too much of his power, resulting in the absolute obliteration of Kodo Fuyuki.

    All joking aside, this was enjoyable for what it was. Tobita is mostly in control for the first minute of the match, eating a few boots from Fuyuki and responding with some lariats, a leg drop, and a DDT. Tobita goes for the fire thunder powerbomb, but GENSHI ENJIN VIRGON makes a run in, attacking Tobita with bolt cutters! He cuts Fuyuki free right after, leading to Fuyuki blasting Tobita with his signature charging lariat for the win (with Virgon seen jumping away in the background).

    There's not much to say about this. Once again, for a match that only went two minutes and had very limited potential due to the nature of it, this was solid. I thought the handcuff gimmick was a fun way to feasibly give Tobita offense in a match against such a higher level opponent, and the Virgon run-in was completely unexpected (I would've never guessed that apeman knew how to use bolt cutters), so all in all, a fine match.

Rating: B-

Survival Tobita vs. Takaku Fuke (FU*CK! 03/28/2010)

    Once again, how the hell did this happen? It's been nine years since Fuyuki's crushing defeat of Tobita in Korakuen Hall, and now we've returned to a venue that fits Tobita much better, that being FU*CK!'s home, the WONDER LAND arena. He's taking on Takaku Fuke, a genuine legend of MMA as one of the founding members of Pancrase. Fuke is mostly remembered for his shootfighting days or his time as a semi-regular in Osaka Pro, but during the late 00s and early 10s, Fuke was all over the sleaziest cards imaginable in Osaka, being a FU*CK! regular while making appearances in promotions like SGP, JWA Kansai, and many more. This match actually has a solid amount of build going into it, as the year prior, Tobita and Fuke got into a fight while teaming together, leading to the match ending in their defeat. At the start of 2010, Fuke defeated Tobita as part of a massive gauntlet match. Now, less than two months later, Tobita is ready to take his revenge on Fuke in an "Irregular UWF Rules" match.

    The magic of this match begins even before the bell rings. The DVD release of this match starts off with more than 30 minutes of Tobita walking around a city in the dead of night, smoking as he goes while imparting great knowledge upon the cameraman and, through him, us. He buys cigarettes from a vending machine (making funny faces at the age verification cameras), smokes while laying down on a bench (flipping the whole bench over while trying to get up), and shadowboxes in front of a chain link fence. It's the type of footage that really makes me wish I knew even a little Japanese, because I imagine the things he and cameraman/FU*CK! owner Shiratori were talking about were hilarious.

    After those 30+ incredible minutes, we arrive at WONDER LAND, and there's a big fight feel in the air. Fuke comes out wearing the ultra-rare silver pants, accidentally jabroni'ing Kenji Fukimoto by going through a different side of the ring than the one where Fukimoto opened the ropes for him. Tobita follows up silver pants Fuke by coming out with a KITCHEN KNIFE, POINTING IT AT FUKE AS A THREAT AGAINST HIS LIFE. He then goes into the bathroom and puts the knife in the toilet water just for added danger. Tobita then... walks back into the backstage area... BEFORE REAPPEARING WITH A FLAMETHROWER AND ATTEMPTING TO INCINERATE THE AUDIENCE, CHASING THEM OUT THE FUCKING BUILDING!!! This, of course, sets off the fire alarm, leading to the FU*CK! staff spending five straight minutes trying to turn it off. Tobita just sits on the top rope the entire time, watching as they try to undo the chaos he caused.

    And then, as god as my witness, Fuke and Tobita do their entrances one more time.

    Fuke comes out and jabronis Fukimoto again (I've got a feeling this time it wasn't an accident). Tobita comes out with the flamethrower already in hand (to which the fans respond by preemptively running for the door), but passes it to one of the FU*CK! staff with a big smug grin. The in-ring announcements are done, and finally, after over an hour of no wrestling, it's time for the match to begin.

    We start off slow, with Fuke and Tobita trying to feel each other out while exchanging some shoteis. Seeing Tobita throw shoteis is such a strange sight but he's putting some real force behind them, and Fuke is responding with similar levels of force with his shoteis and leg kicks. Fuke stays in firm control for this portion of the match, constantly outmatching Tobita on the mat with heel hooks and throwing some of the hardest kicks I've ever seen him throw. Tobita quickly changes tactics though, realizing that this shooting stuff just doesn't work for him, and instead returns to ol' reliable: evil fouling. He pokes the eyes. He grabs at the throat. Any time Fuke tries to lock in a hold or do anything to take advantage, Tobita is quick to rake the face or shoot below the belt to take back control. Tobita really channels some devious influences during this portion (and really for the whole match), throwing some Kurisu-level stomps to Fuke's head while letting loose with a few horrific toe kicks to the face and back. Fuke is able to pull out some great stuff to try and fight back during this, including a beautiful armbar counter to a grounded choke, but again, every single time he gets any footing, Tobita responds with cruel rule-bending, culminating in Fuke locking in a Fujiwara armbar, only for Tobita to escape his grip enough to swing his trapped arm inwards, punching Fuke right in the dick.

    Firmly in control, Tobita finally turns to the plunder, and oh boy, he's got a lot this time around. Immediately, he stabs Fuke in the face with some sort of sharp object, resulting in Fuke bleeding. He wraps cables around Fuke's face and neck to try and choke him out. He takes a real big knife and starts cutting across Fuke's forehead. There's just so much here that he utilizes in an attempt to make Fuke suffer in the most extreme ways possible. The ultimate weapon, however, comes soon after all this. 

    Tobita goes out of the ring and brings in... a children's scooter. He revs it up, and as fast as he can, sends it (and himself) flying into Fuke. I can't begin to explain the emotions I feel watching Survival Tobita crash a scooter into a bloody Takaku Fuke. It's just the kind of thing you could never imagine happening until it does. A truly surreal moment. Tobita follows it up by slamming a whole cooler into Fuke's head because of course he does. 

    Instead of going for a pinfall after all of this, Tobita, in an attempt to truly demoralize Fuke, talks shit about Pancrase and calls Fuke up to give Tobita his best shot. Fuke paintbrushes Tobita across the face with a brutal slap, knocking him down. Now, the one standing on top is Takaku Fuke, covered in blood with a crazed look in his eyes from the disrespect served to him by Tobita. In this moment, Fuke is given the chance to change from the victimized to the victimizer, and he takes that chance and runs with it. He rains down punches to Tobita's face, stomps and chokes him with his foot, and throws vicious kicks straight to the head. Tobita tries to close the distance by grappling Fuke, but Fuke just hoists him up and drops him directly onto his neck with a backdrop driver. And then, Fuke goes to the outside, and he gets the biggest light tube I have ever seen, longer than two normal tubes put together. Fuke smashes that light tube over Tobita's fucking head. In fact, he gets even more super long tubes and just goes to town on Tobita, breaking them over his face over and over and over again. Finally, Tobita, now a bloody mess just like Fuke, tries to get up in a dazed state, only for Fuke to sink in a deep rear naked choke. Fuke looks like a deranged madman, covered in a deep crimson with an evil grin stretching across his face. Tobita tries to survive but it's too much. The referee calls for the bell when Tobita stops responding.

    Fuke, of course, doesn't let go immediately. He spent the 90s fighting legends like Minoru Suzuki, Masakatsu Funaki, and Ken Shamrock. He's a Pancrase original for Christ's sake. And this sleazy camo-wearing indie worker thinks he can get away with what he did in this match? Not a fucking chance. It takes the referee along with another wrestler to physically pry Fuke off of Tobita. Fuke comes to his senses immediately, and, in an act of good faith, helps to revive Tobita from his current unconscious state, before offering a handshake to his adversary. Tobita, remembering that two minutes ago Fuke was attempting to choke him to death, responds how you would probably expect him to:

    We're right back into the heat of battle, with Tobita and Fuke throwing stiff shots at each other, along with Tobita swinging at anything that moves. One of those things that move is Kenji Fukimoto, who comes into the ring in the hopes of calming things down and gets a light bulb smashed into his face for his troubles. Now, Fukimoto is also brawling, throwing closed fists with Tobita and getting so heated that even Fuke has to stop his fighting to try and split Fukimoto and Tobita up. Tobita whips off his shirt and multiple people have to come in and stop them from going any further. 

    As the venue finally quiets, Tobita picks up the mic, and after talking with Shiratori (who's currently handling the main camera), invites Fuke into the ring. They converse for over 20 minutes, both covered in blood and battle scars, before finally, the two bow to each other, showing their respect and putting a true end to this war. Hell, Tobita even goes around shaking hands with the crowd (probably to apologize for the whole attempted incineration thing). Even after all his truly heinous actions in his conflict against Fuke, Tobita is still a hero for the people.

    I don't really know how to look back at this match after watching it.

    From the 30 minute Tobita midnight walk to the insane entrances, from the shoot style opener to the scooter attack, from the bloodthirsty Fuke to the massive post-match brawl. Hell, even considering the 20 minute talk battle Tobita and Fuke had afterwards, ending in both men bowing to each other. This has to have been one of the greatest experiences I have ever had watching pro wrestling. This is the type of tape that really reminds me why I love this sleaze shit so much. Why I've poured so much time, energy, and money into getting as much of it as possible. This is the pro wrestling I love in maybe its ultimate form. There will never be another match quite like Survival Tobita vs. Takaku Fuke.

Rating: A+

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