(Written by Jom)
Misawa's theme comes on as the video starts, and the second I heard it I realized who was in this and got so fucking excited. I've seen pics and clips of the infamous Misawa cosplay kusa wrestler before, but this would be my first match of his to watch. Turns out that Misawa cosplay wrestler is Prince Ishii, joined by Akira Hirata, a Taue cosplay wrestler. Their opponents Tomoya and Tomohiro Otani are decidely less King's Road, but both look like the average sleaze puro wrestler, so I guess that's fine too. The match starts with some pretty basic chain wrestling, but it was well done so no harm no foul. I personally watch kusa for the stupid shit (in terms of both quality and safety), but seeing these untrained guys prove they aren't just here to drop each other on their heads is always nice to see. Ishii starts working on Otani hard, even doing those weird jumping chest kicks Misawa used to do, and doing them very well at that. Tomoya comes in and does the similar hard work to Ishii, including a body scissors stretch plum, a move that is just so fucking cool and needs to be stolen by Daniel Makabe or Lee Moriarty or someone else of that ilk. Eventually Ishii gets control and tags in Hirata to do the backdrop/Nodowa Otoshi combo that Holy Demon used to do, spiking Tomoya right on the neck with it. Ishii throws some really clean forearms (it would be really bad if he didn't) but honestly? Tomoya's were better. He throws elbows very similarly to how Manjimaru throws them, putting his whole body behind them and kind of pushing his elbow past Ishii’s face every time he throws one. Tomoya is finally able to get the hot tag to Otani after hitting a great enzuigiri, and Otani immediately picks up Ishii for a lightning fast UFO! He attacks Hirata before coming in like a bullet train with a nasty Goldberg-like spear to Ishii. At this point, I realize "oh my god, I might've found a new kusa guy to add to my favorites". Otani follows all that up with a nasty release German suplex, but Ishii just gets right back up and runs as fast as he can to hit Otani with an elbow to the side of the head, before tagging in Hirata so he can Nodowa Otoshi Otani to hell. Hirata then picks him up, grabs his wrist, puts him in a waist clutch, and as god as my witness, Hirata does a rainmaker Nodowa Otoshi. Otani changes that "might've" into a "definitely" by HEADBUTTING HIRATA LIKE DEATH, before hitting an uranage backbreaker and throwing him over to Tomoya for an unprettier. However, even that gets a two count on Hirata, so Tomoya finally hits a huricanrana for the win. This was honestly so much fun, watching two random dudes attempt to pull out all the King’s Road classics and actually being kinda successful at it was really cool. Tomoya was perfectly fine with a couple good moments and holy shit I need to see more of Tomohiro Otani, he's like the perfect kusa wrestler for me. Another good chapter in the King's Road saga, GET ON IT JOSEPH.
Rating: 90s All Japan could never be this good.
Reversal Sawa vs. Gotaro Ushiku
Reversal Sawa dresses like every American deathmatch worker, wearing camo cargo pants, a sleeveless shirt, and tape going from his fingers up to his entire forearm. Gotaro Ushiku is wearing a purple singlet with some trippy design on it, so basically he looks like Sawa's polar opposite. Ushiku also looks to be six inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier, so this'll be a total David vs. Goliath match. Sawa is actually really competent technically, working a really deliberate style and targeting Ushiku's arm very well. Ushiku, while also fine in the chain wrestling aspect, usually just shuts them down instead with his strength alone, pushing Sawa all around the square and slamming him face first out of a lock-up. Ushiku, even with his hurt arm, is able to bust out some big power moves like a super atomic drop and his running splash looks like death itself (Sawa even sold this by sounding like he was about to throw up his whole organ system). Ushiku eventually signals for a running clothesline by doing a single giant stomp and stretching his clothesline arm. I can't say enough how cool that stomp was, he slammed his foot down so hard that the hardcam shook, and hardcam was literally on the other side of the room. Sawa dodges the clothesline however, causing Ushiku to run into the ref, and it turns out that Sawa is a hardcore guy. He somehow has the time to use a plastic lid, a steel chair (which he pillmanizes Ushiku's arm with), AND A KENDO STICK, before he has to get the ref up himself. I've never seen a wrestler bump a ref and then have the time to use three different weapons, and honestly it was just pretty funny. Sawa runs at Ushiku and jumps, but Ushiku catches him and hits this really cool bossman slam style backbreaker. Ushiku tries to pick Sawa up after this but Sawa locks in a surprise triangle choke, which Ushiku deadlifts him out of but Sawa reverses again, putting in an armlock. Ushiku is able to somehow escape this and hit another backbreaker, then one final backbreaker, before finishing Sawa off with a deadlift into a full nelson slam. This was a fine match, at no point did I think this was great (or even particularly good) but both guys showed a lot of cool stuff off.
Rating: Nothing mind-blowing but maybe world record for the most ref bump weapon pulls?
YAMATO vs. The Bosconian (part two)
Last Monday, I expressed so much love for both of these guys, and I'm fairly certain I said I wanted to see more of both. Well, I guess I got my wish. Also, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but to get these matches I literally just pull up my RAW matches playlist and hit shuffle play, and I really did end up getting this match randomly (albeit before the Sawa/Ushiku match, but this HAD to be the last match reviewed). YAMATO has no shoes on this time around, so I feel okay with cheering him. Both guys are genuinely great at chain wrestling, which is still so insane to me when you look at Bosconian. Bosconian eventually takes control with what seems to be a prison lock, before YAMATO just slaps him as hard as he can in the jaw, knocking down Bosconian. YAMATO then puts in his own prison lock, but while in it just starts going insane with the slapping all over Bosconian's body. YAMATO pulls down Bosconian's jumpsuit AND SHIRT and throws a chest chop that sounds like a gunshot. YAMATO then walks away for a second and, I shit you not, grabs a PSP. Why? Well to give to Bosconian of course, as he wants to do a chest chop battle but also want to make it fair. The best part is that even with Bosconian slamming a PSP against YAMATO's chest, it is pretty even with it taking a couple for YAMATO to lose. Bosconian then grabs YAMATO by the head and points at the... exit door. He walks over and I'm thinking "oh no fucking way". Door opens, blinding light comes out, and there they fucking go. The camera is taken off the tripod it was on and they start running over to the door, and it jumpcuts to THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET. YAMATO AND BOSCONIAN ARE NOW BRAWLING ALL AROUND THIS JAPANESE TOWN, TAKING US AND THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE ON A TOUR. Eventually, they get to one door and just go inside, and the ref stands in front of the alley to keep the fans from getting past him and to said door. Bosconian and YAMATO start fighting in this room that nobody can see, so the audience is just so confused and laughing their ass off and the distant yelling. Finally, both guys walk out and YAMATO HAS PANTS ON NOW FOR SOME REASON. They then go back to walking around the streets, randomly switching between who is holding a headlock and who is being held in one. This should be so fucking boring, but I just can't take my eyes off of it. YAMATO and Bosconian get close to a park and YAMATO spots a bike, which he then climbs onto and starts riding WHILE STILL HOLDING BOSCONIAN IN A HEADLOCK. AND THEN, HE THROWS BOSCONIAN DOWN AND JUST THROWS THE BIKE AT HIM. YAMATO puts Bosconian up against a tree and sees someone putting up the bike, to which he starts yelling at them and takes it back, trying to ram Bosconian once again. Bosconian dodges however, and then just starts stomping away at the bike for the crimes it committed. There's another jump cut soon after and now we are back at the main building, with both YAMATO and Bosconian starting to come back in. They disappear and the ref starts to count them out (I have no clue why he didn't before but I'm not complaining), and then I hear the sound of yelling and running water. Based on all of this info, I believe Bosconian and/or YAMATO were in the bathroom, and they were now rushing to get back before getting counted out (YAMATO is no longer wearing what I assume were his literal street fight pants, which based on the noise he may have flushed down the toilet). YAMATO puts Bosconian close to the wall. And sets up a chair. AND BACKS UP. AND OH MY GOD, HE DOES THE WALL RUN ATTACK AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME A KNEE DROP. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM TO KNOW THAT'S A REGULAR MOVE FOR HIM. He does ANOTHER one just for good measure too, absolutely destroying Bosconian's ribs. Bosconian is able to take advantage with a running neckbreaker that YAMATO sold on his head because of course he did, and also hits a great butterfly suplex and a disgusting lariat to the face. YAMATO dodges the second lariat attempt, and after a little more back and forth, hits a gross enzuigiri, his suplex gutbuster, and the figure four pin, but Bosconian kicks out. YAMATO then dropkicks Bosconian's leg and puts in an actual figure four, before GETTING INTO A FIGURE EIGHT HOLY FUCK. THIS IS 2007. Bosconian taps, and just to cap it all off, later gets up and does his "my shoulders weren't down for 3" thing with the ref. I loved this. You will love this. Holy shit. I'm happy now and I will be forever, and I hope you watch this so we can be forever happy together.
Rating: Required viewing for every person ever.
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